EPISODE 264

How we sabotage ourselves - and how to stop

Hey gorgeous,

Let’s talk about money sabotage.

Not in a harsh, “what’s wrong with you?” way - but in a compassionate, this actually makes sense way.

In this week’s Chill & Prosper, I’m unpacking the sneaky ways we sabotage ourselves in business and money - often without even realising we’re doing it.

We talk about:
✨ procrastination (and what it’s really protecting you from)
✨ perfectionism and the lie that you need to be ready
✨ visibility fears and waiting to be chosen
✨ why sabotage is usually about safety, not laziness
✨ and how to work with your fears instead of fighting them

If you’ve ever thought, “Why do I keep getting in my own way?”
This episode will feel like a deep sigh of relief.

xx Denise

P.S. All month we’ll be talking about money sabotage — the sneaky patterns that keep you stuck even when you know what to do. Things like procrastinating when it’s time to sell, undercharging even though you know your value, or second-guessing yourself just as things start going well. If you’d like some help shifting those patterns, I’ve created a free Tap Away Your Money Sabotage workshop where I guide you through a simple EFT tapping process to release the fears and beliefs behind them.

Click here to watch for free today.

Prefer to read?

Here is the transcript for this episode:

Hey friend, today we’re talking about sabotage. The world is hard enough and business can be tricky, but sometimes we get in our own way without even realising it. And I want you to know this first: you’re not lazy, you’re not broken, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

Self-sabotage is usually just a form of protection. It’s your brain trying to keep you safe from things like embarrassment, rejection, getting into trouble, or not being liked. When you understand that, it becomes much easier to have compassion for yourself instead of beating yourself up.

One of the most common sabotages is procrastination. It can look like needing more time, more clarity, or the perfect strategy. But underneath, it’s usually fear. A helpful way to move through it is to ask yourself what the worst possible outcome would be if you actually did the thing. Often, when you say those fears out loud, they lose their power. Some of them aren’t even yours—they’re old stories, things you’ve absorbed, or fears that don’t really make sense when you look at them closely.

Sometimes, though, the fear runs deeper and needs a bit more work. Either way, procrastination tends to live in your head, so it helps to bring it outside of yourself. That might mean setting a public deadline, telling someone your plans, or creating accountability. It breaks the cycle.

Perfectionism is another big one, and it’s closely tied to procrastination. It comes from the belief that if something is perfect, you won’t be criticised and you’ll finally feel worthy. But nothing is ever perfect, and waiting for perfection only delays your growth. You’re allowed to create something based on what you know right now. It doesn’t have to be your masterpiece. It’s just one version, and you can improve it over time.

In fact, you can’t improve something that doesn’t exist. So it’s better to create an imperfect version than to stay stuck waiting. Sometimes it helps to think of what you’re doing as a “practice version” or a first iteration, rather than something final.

Another common sabotage is visibility. This is about showing up, being seen, sharing your voice or your work. The fears here are usually around being judged, not looking or sounding right, or not being ready. But the truth is, someone out there needs to see you exactly as you are. People connect with what feels real and relatable, not perfect.

You don’t have to be for everyone. Some people might not like you, and that’s okay. You can block, ignore, or move on. What matters is that the right people can find you, and they can only do that if you show up.

A big part of this is realising that waiting is often the real sabotage. Waiting to feel ready, waiting for permission, waiting for fear to disappear. But readiness doesn’t come first—action does. No one is stopping you from starting something. You have to choose yourself.

There are tools that can help in the moment too. One is tapping, where you acknowledge what you’re feeling while affirming self-acceptance. Even just saying, “Even though I feel stuck, I deeply and completely accept myself,” can shift something internally.

t’s also important to know that these patterns don’t necessarily disappear forever. They can show up again, especially when you’re tired, stretched, or stepping into something new. That doesn’t mean you’re back at square one. It just means you’re human.

The goal isn’t to eliminate sabotage completely. It’s to notice it, understand it, and not let it run the show. You can still move forward, help people, and grow your business, even with those patterns present.

So if you recognise yourself in any of this, just know you’re completely normal. You’re not behind, and you’re not doing anything wrong. Sometimes even naming your sabotage out loud is enough to take some of its power away.

And from there, you can keep going.