Dealing with Haters and Trolls (Without Losing Your Cool)

If ghost clients and zombie projects are the money monsters lurking in your inbox, there's another kind of scary that shows up the moment you put yourself out there publicly: haters, trolls and criticism.

It's one of the biggest fears I hear from entrepreneurs, especially women. The fear of hate comments, of being misunderstood, of criticism, is often enough to stop people showing up at all. And I get it. That fear can bring up old memories of being left out, or bullied, or ostracized. It's a really normal, human fear to have.

I've been lucky, I haven't experienced a huge amount of online trolling. But I know plenty of people who have, and the fear of it absolutely held me back in the early days of my business too. So here's what I've learned about protecting your energy while still showing up.

Get a gatekeeper. As your business grows, it helps to have someone else, a VA or a team member, filter your comments and messages first. You don't have to see everything the moment it lands, and that alone takes a huge amount of the sting out of it.

Know your audience. Most of the weird or nasty comments I've received have come when I've strayed outside my usual audience, onto a platform or topic that isn't really "my people." When you're clear on who you're talking to, you naturally attract fewer trolls.

Block early, block often. If someone isn't your target audience, or they're being rude, you don't need to give them a second chance. No one is entitled to your time, your energy, or your page. You can be kind and generous and still have zero tolerance for disrespect.

Don't go looking for it. Don't Google yourself. Don't read every review. What people say about you when you're not in the room is genuinely none of your business, and searching for it will only cost you your peace for no benefit.

Remember: the loudest critics often have the least manners, and the least follow-through. In ten-plus years of business, I've had to remove people from my community maybe three times. The vast majority of people are lovely. Don't let the noisy few convince you otherwise.

And here's the thing that helped me most: not everybody has to like you. That's not a flaw in your business, it's just what happens when you're visible enough to matter to anyone at all. A handful of one and two star reviews next to a wall of five-star ones is actually more believable, not less.

You can be kind, compassionate, and still incredibly firm about what you will and won't tolerate. You can help people without overgiving, and you can protect your energy without becoming hard.

If trolls and haters aren't your biggest fear right now, but awkward client conversations are, refunds, boundaries, and all the other scary money moments, I've got you covered there too. Grab my free guide, Scary Money Conversations Made Easy, for scripts to handle those with confidence.

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE GUIDE AT DENISEDT.COM/SCARY

Whatever kind of scary conversation you're avoiding this month, client, critic, or otherwise, you don't have to face it without a plan. You've got this.

xx Denise