Common Money Blocks: When Shame is Holding You Back
Today I’m here for some excavation work. This is uncovering limiting beliefs and money blocks and finding the buried treasure beneath so that you can be free to pursue your dreams.
One thing I love is that the mindset work is the same no matter what level you're at.
If you’re just starting out; you haven't made any money in your business yet and you're feeling stuck, the mindset work is the same as if you’re earning millions of dollars in your business.
I teach a 3-step framework to help you break through your money blocks, and get free from a plateau or feeling of stuck.
I call it the OCP process. Here’s how it works: you first seek out an Origin Story, then Connect it to a Sabotage and use a Pattern Interrupt to break through the limiting belief.
An Origin Story is something that you heard repeatedly or experienced when you were growing up.
You've probably already uncovered a lot of cycles of dysfunction in your past, but with money there's always new stuff to uncover, which is the good and the bad news.
This is a really common one:
ORIGIN STORY It’s not polite to talk about money
CONNECT TO SABOTAGE I can’t ask my clients for money! It’s rude to chase invoices. Feeling shame about money and asking for money.
PATTERN INTERRUPT Money is just normal
You might have heard one of these statements a lot when you were a kid:
It's not polite to talk about money.
It’s not spiritual to talk about money.
You should never ask someone how much money they earn.
That’s the “Shame” Origin Story - now let’s Connect to Sabotage.
If you have this deeply embedded story that it's not polite to talk about money, you might find it showing up in the following ways:
- Do you find it difficult to set prices?
- Do you struggle with telling people what your prices are?
- Do you display your prices clearly on your website or hide them away in the small print?
- Do you have trouble asking for the money you’re owed?
- Do you procrastinate sending invoices?
- Do you find it challenging to chase up money?
- Do you struggle to have real conversations with your clients about boundaries?
Please give yourself compassion around this because money is just money.
I love talking about money. My money mentor, Kendall SummerHawk, says asking for money should be like saying, "Pass the salt."
You don’t have to talk to everyone about money. It might not be okay for you to tell your brother how much you earn.
You don't have to publish your income reports. I do sometimes publish mine because I want to make it a normal conversation.
Last year I published my tax return online because I want to take the secrecy out of it. But you definitely don’t have to.
If this is your past experience, how can you normalize finances and money conversations?
This story can be so deeply embedded. You want to get to a neutral place where money is just money.
You might have come from a family where it's all about the image, you have to show that you're perfect or keep things hidden. "We don't air our dirty laundry."
It might have shown up as, “You shouldn't talk about it, you shouldn't show off,” if you do particularly well.
If you come from a family where it's just not polite to talk about money, you’ve got some excavation work ahead of you.
You have to do the work to create a feeling of safety and to be able to actually receive the money.
A lot of people have a belief that it’s not spiritual to make money or to talk about money.
You know, "This is a God-given gift, you shouldn't charge for it. If you really cared about people you wouldn't charge for it."
You might be in communities where it's not okay to talk about money.
You might be in frugal communities where it’s taboo to talk about money.
That’s hard and can feel really lonely. If you're the one in the group reaching and stretching yourself, "I think I want to make money." and everyone's like, "What? That’s greedy."
It’s important to know that you can have both, you can be a homeschooling mama, you can be a woo-woo spiritual chick and still make money, that's totally okay
We’re talking about breaking the patterns, breaking the cycle and choosing a new path where it's okay to talk about it.
As I’ve said, this is ongoing work.
Let’s find the Pattern Interrupt for this Origin Story.
Here’s three ways to break this belief cycle; short-term, medium-term and long-term actions.
- For the short-term, I use affirmations in the moment. A Pattern Interrupt for this Origin Story is the affirmation: “Money is just money. Money is normal.”
- Reading books is a great medium-term Pattern Interrupt – my money mindset book Get Rich, Lucky Bitch is a great place to start.
- In the long-term, it's about incrementally upgrading your life. In Money Bootcamp, we practice upgrading tiny things in your life that raise your vibration, that raise your standard of living and give you permission to earn more. Click here to find out more.
Know that you can apply these learnings whether you have a business or not.
AND you can make money if you think money is secretly vulgar.
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