EPISODE 252

Who’s on your support team this year?

If you started your business (or life) for freedom, but somehow ended up doing everything yourself… this episode is for you.

In this week’s Chill & Prosper, I’m talking about support - not just in business, but across your whole life.

We cover:
✨ Why so many of us struggle to ask for help (especially women)
✨ How hyper-independence can quietly lead to burnout
✨ What “support” can look like beyond hiring a full-time team
✨ How your money archetype might be blocking you from receiving help
✨ Why support isn’t indulgent — it’s strategic

This episode isn’t about adding pressure or overhead. It’s about giving yourself permission to stop doing everything alone.

You’re allowed to have help.
You’re allowed to receive support.
And you don’t have to martyr yourself to reach your goals.

xx Denise

Transcript

Prefer to read?  Here's the transcript:

Hey, gorgeous. It's Denise DT here. And on this episode of Chill and Prosper, we're talking about: who do you need in your corner to really thrive this year?

All month we've been talking about goals, what you need, and what you need to upgrade. And in this particular episode, we’re focusing on helping you think about—not even implement yet—what support system you might need for the rest of the year. Just to plant the seed, and to give you permission: you’re allowed to have support.

If you haven’t already downloaded our Goals and Upgrades workbook for January, it’s still available. Go to denisedt.com/jan (as in January), and start thinking about what you need for this year.

I want you to think about this from a lot of different angles. And I give you full permission to be okay with what you need—not what someone else told you, not what your peers or mentors or mastermind buddies are doing, but what YOU need.

This is personal. But sometimes it also digs up deeper stuff—old money blocks and sabotages.

It’s okay to get support. It’s okay to get help. That’s where I’m going to start.

I really, really, really struggle with this. I am hyper-independent. Some of that comes from my origin story: I’m the eldest child, the eldest grandchild of a teen mum, a bit of a parentified kid, and I had a personality that people described as “very mature.”

From a young age, I told myself, “I don’t need help,” and more importantly, “I don’t want to be a burden.” I wanted to be helpful.

A lot of people relate to that feeling. And you don’t have to be the eldest child to have it. Many women are conditioned to be nurturers. We’re taught it’s better to give than to receive. We want to be helpful. But we struggle to receive.

I’ve talked about this before—maybe it was the December episode—about how holidays bring up so many money blocks. We all have stories about gift-giving and receiving. Maybe you were told receiving made you greedy. Maybe you have trauma around birthdays or holidays.

I remember one time, I was traveling with Willow, who’s now 12. I had her strapped to my chest, I had a big suitcase, and someone said, “Can I help you? I’ll take you to the gate.” And I said, “No, I’m fine.” Not because I didn’t need help—just because my first reaction is always: “I’m fine. I can do it.”

Here’s the thing: I love helping other people. I love being the person who jumps in and says, “What do you need?” So I had to reframe receiving as giving someone else the opportunity to give. That helped, a little. It still makes me cringe, but it helped.

Let’s look at your goals—not just “What do I want to achieve?” but “What kind of support would help me achieve it without burning out?”

You don’t have to do it all yourself. You don’t have to martyr yourself. We don’t want you to get to the end of the year having hit all your goals but feeling like a burnt-out, empty shell.

So many of us have experienced burnout in the past few years. Me included.

Often, it’s rooted in the belief: “I have to do it all myself. I’m not allowed to ask for help.”

This is where your money archetypes can really show up. If you haven’t done the quiz yet, go to denisedt.com/quiz and find out yours—because I’ll be referencing it a lot on the podcast this year.

I’m a Ruler archetype. We want to build big empires, but when we’re in sabotage mode, we:

• Reinvent the wheel
• Refuse to get help
• Overcommit
• Overdeliver
• Get frustrated with others who can’t do things as fast or as well
• Say things like “It’s easier to just do it myself”

I’ve pulled all-nighters at 3am thinking, “Well, it’s too late to ask my team now—I’ll just do it.”

If you’re an Accumulator, you might resist hiring support because you think, “It’s cheaper if I do it myself.” But then you become the bottleneck. You can’t scale if you insist on doing everything.

If you’re a Nurturer, you might feel guilty asking for help. You give and give and give, but struggle to receive. You end up in compassion fatigue, burnout, and sometimes even resentment.

Maybe you’ve even tried to ask for help in the past—and got let down. Maybe you were surrounded by selfish or codependent people who said no, or just didn’t show up for you. That can make you say, “Fine, I’ll never ask for help again.”

Let’s unpack this from a few angles.

Imagine your life is a company. Who would be on your executive team? This is inspired by something Tim Ferriss talked about—who’s sitting at your boardroom table?

In a real company, you’ve got:

• HR
• Marketing
• Accounting
• Strategy
• Admin
• Maintenance

There are so many roles. But when we run a business or manage a household, we’re often doing all of those ourselves. Wearing all the hats.

That might be okay for a while. But if you’ve got big goals this year—it’s probably not sustainable. Even if you have a huge capacity like me (hello, over-functioners), eventually, something’s got to give.

You can’t do everything and expect to thrive.

And this doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. It’s not about hiring a full-time staff tomorrow. You can start small and still make big shifts.

Start by auditing your life like a business. Even if you’re a stay-at-home parent, look at all the roles you’re playing:

• Who does the cooking?
• Who does the cleaning?
• Who handles emotional labor?
• Who manages the pets, the kids’ schedules, the birthdays?

These are roles. These are energy outputs. And when you look at it this way, it becomes easier to see where support could help.

Now, a lot of people get stuck in all-or-nothing thinking. “Well, I can’t afford full-time help.” But you don’t need full-time help to start.

Support could look like:

• A one-off project
• Swapping tasks with a friend
• A short-term contract
• One hour a week
• A couple of hours a month
• Hiring a cleaner once a fortnight
• Getting a meal delivery service just on your busiest days

If you’ve read Chill and Prosper, you’ll know I break down tasks into:

1. Eliminate – What can go completely?
2. Automate – What can a tool or system handle?
3. Batch – What can I do all at once for efficiency?
4. Delegate – What can someone else do?

And even delegation doesn’t have to mean “hire a full-time employee.” It could be someone doing a few hours a week. Or just one focused task.

Also, your support team isn’t just about your business—it’s your whole life. You might already have solid business systems in place but feel totally unsupported at home.

Maybe the most meaningful support you could add this year is:

• A monthly massage because your back seizes up and sabotages your productivity
• A dog walker so you’re not trying to juggle walks with client calls
• A cleaner once a fortnight to give you back your weekends

It’s all valid. These things count as part of your support team.

When my husband Mark came into the business, I had to “educate” him (in a loving way) about this. I told him, “I’m the talent in this business. You can’t have me be the show pony and the plow horse.”

I said, “Pick one—do you want me to be the show pony who shows up for our community, creates content, leads programs? Or the plow horse doing backend admin?”

You can’t have both at once. And I’m not too good to do admin—but it takes energy to be the face of the brand. I can’t do it all.

At Disneyland, Mickey Mouse is the star of the show—but he’s not sweeping up after the parade.

Everyone has a role, and they’re all important. But you have to choose yours intentionally.

That shift—being intentional about your role—is huge.

When I thought about what truly drained me, it wasn’t just business tasks. It was home stuff. So I brought in help incrementally:

• A housekeeper
• A nanny
• Laundry help
• Food prep support

You don’t have to outsource all of that overnight. Start small. Start symbolically. Because it sends a powerful message to yourself and to the universe:

🌀 “I serve, I deserve.”
🌀 “I don’t have to do everything.”
🌀 “I’m not responsible for everyone.”
🌀 “I’m worthy of good support.”

You might already have support—but it’s not the right support. It might need tweaking.

Sometimes, it’s just shifting roles or changing boundaries. Maybe your VA needs clearer direction. Maybe your childcare hours need to adjust. Maybe the person who helps with admin isn’t actually freeing up your time.

This is about refinement.

So now, ask yourself:
✨ What would be the most symbolic support I could receive right now?
✨ What upgrade would make the biggest emotional or energetic difference?
✨ What help would feel like a gift to Future Me?

Sometimes we have support, but it’s outdated. Or it no longer fits our current season of life or business.

When I was pregnant with my second child, I went to a VIP day with Ali Brown. She had twins at the time, and she said something that really stuck with me:

“I don’t want to build a massive empire right now. This phase of life is busy. I’ve simplified my team. It’s just me, my business partner, and a couple of assistants.”

And I remember thinking, “Oh my God—permission.”

At that time, I was feeling weighed down by the idea of having a big team. It actually held me back from growing because I didn’t want the responsibility. I didn’t want to manage a big group. I’m an introvert. I don’t want to manage people’s emotions or energy all day.

Some mentors told me, “You need to outsource your marketing. You need to bring in a full team now.” But it didn’t feel right for my personality—or my nervous system.

So I made different choices. And you can too.

Your support team doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. You don’t need to follow someone else’s org chart. Start with what you really need, right now, in this season. Start symbolically. Start small. Start honestly.

And remember:
🧡 You’re worthy of support.
🧡 You don’t have to do it alone.
🧡 It’s your time, and you’re ready for the next step.