How Rulers can use Sacred Money Archetypes® to make more money

sacred money archetypes
 

I recently had the opportunity to interview an incredible group of Ruler entrepreneurs and alumni in my Sacred Money Archetypes® course. In this fascinating roundtable, we talked about the strengths and challenges these entrepreneurs experience as Rulers and how they have learned to use their Money Archetype in their business. 

Here's a summary of our discussion and please read the individual member's case studies and course reviews to find out more.

Our Ruler Roundtable Guests

 

How did it feel when you found out you were a Ruler? 

Anne Bruce
(Click here to read Anne's full review)

When I heard about the Ruler and watched the videos about it, it just hit home so hard. I was like, "Oh, yeah. That's what I am and that's what I'm all about.

 

Tara-Nicholle Kirke
(Click here to read Tara's full review)

Well, it was like my whole entire life made sense. Stories my mom told about me as a kid made sense. I had just done preschool tours with my four year... Well, then she was two and all the other parents were asking about curriculum and I was asking how many kids there were in the school and doing the math on what the school's annual revenues likely were and was like, "Wow, y'all are great business women." It just is who I am.

 

Charlotte Pardy
(Click here to read Charlotte's full review)

So for me, it was a complete surprise that I was a Ruler. I thought being in such a caring profession and everything else, I would naturally come out as a Nurturer. I really did think that that was the way that I was heading, but I think obviously, Nurturers are mother-type figures and what do mothers do? They rule their little empires, don't they? And I think really, for me, that's what came through, as well as having that nurturing half of me. There's still the half that counts the pennies, make sure there's food in the cupboard, keeps building on ideas, keeps helping people growing and keeps bringing those ideas coming through. So it was a surprise, but when I did look and read through it did make perfect sense for that matriarch figure for me. So that's been something that I've connected with quite a lot and it's been really a revelation for me because it's allowed me to empower myself and it also balances out a little bit of that nurture tendency to overgive because I think that there's a sense in all mothers, at some point, that you get a little frustrated with your kids and you're like, "I'm sick of tying your shoelaces for you. You need to tie them for yourself", kind of thing. So I think that's where that balance and that tension between the two can fit quite well together.

 

Kerin Monaco
(Click here to read Kerin's full review)

My reaction to being a Ruler, I think the reaction was just like, "Oh, this is why everything is so hard because I'm skiving so out of alignment with who I am on an energetic level. So it was eye opening, it was heart opening and it was transformational. My life is so different now. My business is designed completely different and it was a result of that learning about the Ruler, the Alchemist and the Connector as well.

 

Rifa Thorpe-Tracey
(Click here to read Rifa's full review)

My reaction to the archetypes was I was in denial about being a Ruler at first and did the test a few times and thought, "Okay, I've identified as an Accumulator. Definitely. I was like, "Yes, that sounds like me. I loved to stash away my coins and think about where I'm going to make more money and found it really hard to spend money on myself. Sometimes I felt really guilty about that. And then my second, the Accumulator and Nurturer were about the same and then the next one after that is Celebrity. So it felt a bit like they're all fighting around each other, the wanting to be more of a Ruler and a Nurture. And I think of thinking about real life, people like Beyonce was probably a Ruler and building your empire and being that person and not always being liked as well. That was all part of money bootcamp as well. That understanding that you have to be your true self, I think, was really important, I think.

 

Sandra Hoffman
(Click here to read Sandra's full review)

It made so much sense. Ruler and Romantic are quite close. So sometimes I thought I'm rather a Romantic because I like luxury a lot and I like to... I always think I earned this, so I deserve it. I deserve it. That's it. I deserve it, so that's what I think a lot, but then when I read the Ruler one, it was so clear. That's totally me. I'm always thinking, "Okay, I could can make this as a business, maybe, or this as a business, maybe." And if other people tell me their ideas, I say, "Okay, so we're going to do this and you can make a business out of this." So it's like all the time, I'm thinking a lot how to make money out of everything.

 

Jess Keating
(Click here to read Jess' full review)

I love that I'm last here in this, because I am pretty much on the other end of the spectrum where I think the lowest scores for me were Connector and Nurturer, and then it's Ruler, Maverick and Accumulator. Honestly, the thing that hit me first, it was like, "Yep, that's me." And I think you have, Denise, somewhere... You mentioned, "I wanted an Oprah-type business being a Ruler." And I remember being like, "Oh, scene", and there was so many interesting little parts to that because I didn't realize... Maybe with just Rulers in particular, but maybe it's everybody, the thing about my Ruler was I didn't realize that I had been partially holding that back a little bit. It was a part of me that it needed permission that I didn't realize needed permission just to be like, this is who I am.

And the second part of that was when we did the sacred money archetypes quiz, people are sharing their answers and all of these lovely women that I know were like, "Oh, I'm a Connector, I'm a Nurturer, and I'm a whatever." And I was just like, "Am I a jerk?" And I remember you, Denise, saying, "I'm a Ruler", and actually, I distinctly remember this. I'm paraphrasing here, but you were like, "I love the people I work with in Money Bootcamp. I love all those people, but I'm not going to hold your hand. That's just not me." I think your Connector was not your top either and I remember just being like, "Oh, it's okay. I'm allowed to be this way and it's not even a fault. It's just something that is just who I am and I can outsource this, this and this in my business and it doesn't need to be this character defect."

Like Sarah was saying, there's nothing wrong with me. It's just when we lean into what makes us us, what lights us up and what lights me up is that idea of that word empire. It's just like, "Ah, shit. Yes." And the other stuff, once I got over that initial hit of shame, of, "I don't really have..." It was two or something, but that Connector and Nurture vibe is just not there, but it doesn't mean I'm not caring. It doesn't mean I don't care about what I do or the people I work with, but really allowing myself to embody that fully and in particular, see models like you, Denise, who it is who you are and you don't make apologies for it. You're just like, "Oh, so then I do this, I outsource this or I try to angle my marketing towards these types of people", for example.

Those insights, they were so incredibly helpful because like I said, you don't realize that there's this tiny part of you or maybe a big part that is seeking that permission and then once you get that from you see it reflected in somebody else, or you get this on the quiz or whatever, you're like, "Oh, I didn't realize how much of myself I was holding back." And once you do that, that's where the power comes from. Once you can enable yourself to be fully whole without apology, that is, of course, when things start to happen, but I was not surprised at all and I have to mention, when I was talking to my husband about this and we were watching Hamilton at the time and there were two lines in Hamilton, there was one where it's like, "Why do you write you're running out of time?"

So my husband was like, "That's you?" And I was like, "Oh, yes." And then it was, "You will never be satisfied." He's like, "That is also you", and I was like, "Yeah, I get that." And I think that's the Ruler and Accumulator together. But again, seeing that as not everything is something to be healed. Yes, there's overworking. Yes, there's overdoing and overgiving and hustler and all that stuff, but not everything in me was because of a trauma or a problem. Seeing that is just a strength that not everybody else has and some people would love to lean into, seeing that and being like, "Yes, I have some of that Hamilton energy right there. That's okay." And allowing that to happen was just really, really huge for me.

 

How do your top three Archetypes work together?

Tara-Nicholle Kirke

So as I mentioned, during the pandemic, childcare was in hot mess here and I'm a single mom. The solution I came up with was to join the country club down the street because their kids' club was open. So now I have this amazing workday ritual, she's back in school, but I drive her to school. I pack up her stuff for school and I pack up my stuff for country club and I drive her to school and I go get in the hot tub and steam room and then I work. And I'm actually, funny enough, oddly, organically creating almost like an influencer relationship with the club, because I'm constantly posting stuff there and shooting videos there and that sort of thing, but I find myself working in very luxurious settings all the time.

I tend to my state a lot more than I think an average Ruler might. I spend two hours in the morning doing my own daily ritual practice before she even gets up. I don't do meetings till 10 o'clock because I need to get there, get myself to that place of really intense flow, but I do that almost in service of my radical fruitfulness. I still do way more stuff, way more actual output, but I tell you, I can no longer do it in that productivity fetish way. For me, it's really matured in large part, thanks to the archetype work. I've literally am creating a program for companies called Radically Fruitful. So leave productivity, this thing where I can't with spreadsheets, I have one accumulator, one accumulator point in my body.

In fact, what you're saying is hilarious to me because the thing about Romantics and accumulators getting married, because I actually surround myself with accumulators, because I feel like I don't know what would happen if there is no accumulator in this household. And my kiddo, I think probably has mostly the same architects as me. Maybe she's got some high alchemist somewhere in there too, but between us, we just go around the world manifesting stuff, thinking it, people handing it to us. I sat down the other day in the lobby at a hotel nearby and the hotel manager came and just set two glasses of champagne down on the table. He didn't say anything. That's how we roll. So we do flow energy and just flow beautiful things and need beautiful things. I need everything that is in on or around my body to be beautiful. But some of that, again, it's in service of, or it's I think of it. I tell myself the story that it's this virtuous cycle with my radical fruitfulness and just radical ability to answer my callings, which I think are very secret.

 

Rifa Thorpe-Tracey

I think I'm probably still in that shiny object syndrome mentality that I really still find it difficult to say no to people when they say there's some interesting project, there's maybe no money in it, but it's going to take up loads of time. I was doing a radio show every two hours every week. Absolutely loved doing it and it was lots of good learnings, but hardly anyone was probably listening to it, but it was so much fun for me to do and I will beat myself up over thinking I'm spending lots of time doing fun projects when I could be doing more on my business and making more money and doing more launches. I think there's sometimes the part of me that... I can't remember which one it is now. I think it's celebrities. Wanting to have pleasure and allowing yourself to have pleasure is the thing that I fluctuate with.

Well, the accumulator doesn't want you to have fun and it wants you to just be thinking about your business all the time, but actually, you can have some fun. I try and do time audits every so often and cut out things that aren't fun, but it's taken me a while to say no to things or doing that thing of what you were saying about being good at things, not over-planning as well. So if there's something, I just need to show up and do the thing and go and not do all the stress thinking about it or the over-planning or creating the most beautiful slides possible for something that doesn't require it and basically passing all of that on to my clients now and realizing that a lot of people who are attracted to the work that I do are perfectionist or are stopping themselves because they're not feeling worthy when they have so much to give and they're already at the top of their game and they're just working out how to leave a legacy rather than building any other business or another thing that they think they need to do.

But one big thing I think is one of the status symbols of success is to have a fancy house and I manifested so that Alchemist is there somewhere in my...I thought I'd be an Alchemist and a Connector because I do events and all this stuff, but I'd already manifested this house that I have in Brighton out thin air because people think I was flaky when I was even buying property, that I was able to do it myself and I was a real control freak about it and it's a house that's similar to the house that I grew up in and it's like now I realize that's not even that important to me. What's more important is clearing debts and being mortgage free in the UK is amazing. It's unheard of to be able to do this. So anyway, it's okay to change your goals. It's like, "Oh, we can have different goals." Anyway, It's just learning about yourself. It's even difficult sometimes to admit things to yourself.

 

Kerin Monaco

I was surprised that the Alchemist was second because I felt so aligned with that, the problem solving, the ideas, never being... That I could just sell sessions and be an idea person, that just resonated. I struggle with my Connector. I'm an introvert, mostly because I think the world has made me feel like my extroverted side is too much. So the introvert, I would prefer to have minimal contact. I don't necessarily want to be out there connecting people or having constant interaction with others. So at times, I think my connector, I need to focus on the connector a little bit more and nurture that side of me because I know it's in there. I know that the world has shut it. I've been guided to shut it down. I think that the Alchemist and the Ruler complement one another quite beautifully, but that Connector, it's like I would rather that not hear that message. I would rather not that be there sometimes.

 

How does your Ruler sabotage you in business?

Tara-Nicholle Kirke

Business was all I'd thought about. I used to be a lawyer a long time ago. I have an old set of kids and I call them the old kids and a little one and I remember an incident when my now 29-year-old was probably five or six and he was just standing in front of me and stammering like little kids do, "Mom, mom, mom, mom", and I was an hourly billing attorney at the time and I remember in my mind thinking, "This is costing me $75, $100." Business was all I thought about and I had this real pride that I used to tell people, "You can drop me anywhere in the planet and I will have a profitable business. Give me 90 days. I don't need to speak the language. It's good." But my businesses, I was never really giving them the chance to mature and I was never really giving myself the chance to mature into my businesses because I would burn through people. I would burn through myself. I was frustrated easily when something wasn't super successful, so I'd just make a new thing and then the Maverick in me really wanted to make a new thing. I wanted to reinvent every wheel. So there were some real self-hindering patterns that I was able to spot pretty quickly.

 

Anne Bruce

Asking for help is still so hard because I can do it all, but I've also learned delegating and outsourcing and just also canceling things that I really don't have to do there really isn't a need to do it all, so that's been a huge one for me. And I've also been feeling guilty about being the show pony and not doing all the work and not being there all the time to help all the others and in a way, controlling everything. So that's been hard for me to just sit back and relax and let things be, really, because in my business, I've built a really successful model where I can just not be there and I know that the things will work, but it's been hard. It's been really hard.

 

Jess Keating

Yeah. I was going through the course earlier today and one of the things that came up was that you want a Ruler for that gentle butt-kicking and I was like, "Yep, that's okay." And I can recognize a lot of my sabotages around being a Ruler. I don't actually think that the traits of the Rulerness were the sabotage. It was my own sense of shame over them, if that makes sense. It was the feeling of like, "Oh, I need to be more connectory, I need to be more nurturing or whatever", and not truly allowing myself to lean into my strengths there. The minute I hired out somebody to do the nitty gritty tech stuff, that was just a huge, huge level-up for me, just being able to do that. I think you also say we tend to do things the hard way or find the harder way to do things.

And there's a line that you mentioned in it as well that was, "Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should", and that, for me, I have a real love of learning. I love to know, "Oh, how does this work? How does this work?" And I really had to say to myself, "Okay, you know if you spent a few hours, you could figure this out." I could figure out how to set this up tech-wise, or I could figure out how to dig into this person's personality and figure how to sell them or whatever. But I had to ask myself, "Do I want to get good at this task?" And if it wasn't something that actually appealed to me, I had to give myself permission to just either outsource it or nine times out of 10, you could just not do that thing and your business is going to be fine.

And in terms of business models, it's funny, as I was going over them, all of the teacher model options for the Ruler are things that I had inadvertently done over the course of my couple careers. I've had a few careers now. So I've been the speaker, I've been the author, I've been the coach, but it's only in the context of, "I want to run a big group empire and dip in coaching call-wise rather than one-to-one. And one of the things that beforehand I struggled with that was definitely a sabotage was I was listening to... As I got into more of a coaching or mentoring perspective with soil work and neuroscience, I knew what I wanted. My Ruler was like, "I envision this to be a massive global group community ecosystem where everybody's bringing their energy", and I could picture this thing to a T, but all of the advice out there was like, "Oh, well, you can't do a group until you've outsold your one-to-one." That's pretty common advice that we hear.

And I remember there was a few weeks there where I was on the fence about it and I just... It's the same feeling of going to corporate. I could not stomach it and it's like, it's not that I don't love my people that I work with, it's not that I don't think I could be good at it, because I had done one-to-one before as one offs and it was great, but it was that path of impact and I was like, "No, I'm really driven to do this as a group. I'm driven to do this program as a group." So that was my moment of revelation where I had been sabotaging myself, spinning those wheels, wasting time just like, "Oh, should I listen to so and so who loves one-to-one and therefore she's telling me it's a great thing to do? Or do I do what I know is right for me?"

And the minute I did that, I launched that group program and talk about money up levels. I made close to a quarter of a million dollars my first time out at the gate, but I only think I could do that because I finally let myself lean into almost the satisfaction of how I felt it was okay for me to run my business rather than listening to others' really well-meaning advice. That advice could have been right for me, but maybe it was a Ruler thing that I just had a completely different vision or maybe it was a bit of a Maverick thing, too, but there was something about that that just didn't sit and I know that it was the shame reflecting from when I was a kid. "Oh, you're too big for your britches. Who are you to break the rules and how dare you be a success on this thing when you haven't done the time?"

And like Sarah said, "Why would I start at the bottom? And I know how that sound. I can hear myself saying that and I'm already thinking, "Man, people are going to watch this and be like, 'Wow!'" But it's not meant to be an arrogance. It's just I know where I'm called and I know what I'm compelled to do and allowing that to happen and letting that unfold, there's always hiccups and everything, but letting that unfold without feeling like I need to feel shame for it. And I realized in SMA, like you mentioned, we find a way to do things the hard way and I think you can see that in two perspectives. One is like we try to do everything ourselves. We try to do the tech, try to do the funnel, we try to do every little thing, but I also think the other way of doing it the hard way is really just to ignore your own tendencies.

Doing it the hard way for me would be like, "Well, I guess I better put up a sign outside my door and do one-to-one for the next three years." That would be the hard way for me and I think there's a lot of inner work we have to do to recognize, despite the fact that there's a learning curve and the natural hiccups of just growing a business, it doesn't need to be this long ass slog that people tell you it can. And it's not to say it's going to be an overnight discuss either, but why would you pause at that as a must-have? If you're good, you're good. And I think that Rulers, just from our conversation tonight, we seem to have this innate knowledge of what we're good at and it's not everything, but the things that do light us up, we just know.

And if we can lean into that. So I would say my biggest self-sabotages are not necessarily coming from the Ruler traits. It's not leaning into them without letting all the other conditioning, maybe the guilt and stuff over not being the other archetypes, looking outside the window and being like, "Oh, but I'm not a Connector. Boohoo." You posted in bootcamp once Denise and you were like, "Oh, that was Mara who sent that." It was a freaking light went and I was like, "I can do that? I could just have somebody be kind on my behalf and it's not a bad...?" That was ground break, honestly. It sounds so silly when I was thinking, "Oh my God, I don't have the bandwidth." Especially with a big group. I was like, "How does she do it?" And it's like, "Of course", and we love you all for it.

We love you all the more for it. Those little things of just allowing. Now I know enough. I'll say to my husband, "Oh, this is a Ruler thing", and I'm feeling guilt about this. I'm feeling like a bit of a jerk right now for wanting to bulldoze through this here because I don't want to wait. It's not a democracy. I want it and I want it now. And yes, we are in a world where patience is a virtue sometimes, but I also think as girls and women in particular, we're given that message enough. Like you said about your son, he will have enough models of successful, lovely men who are rich. It is also important for girls to get that too and I think Ruler women in particular maybe have a little bit more up against them to overcome. So that's my long worded spiel about Ruler sabotages. I don't think I've encountered a lot of sabotages from being a Ruler. It's not leaning into it and letting all the other stuff get in my way there.

 

Kerin Monaco

I think that that's why I struggle to hire anyone to support me in my business and why I've been a one-woman-show since day one, but things are quickly changing with that, opening up to that, but I also find that with my clients, my clients come to me because of the Ruler energy of, "No, we're going to get this done. We're going to launch this business. We're not going to mess around. We're not going to work towards perfection. We're going to get it done." And sometimes I come up against, "Ooh, if I say it too forcefully I'm too bossy or I'm too nudgey, are they going to stop liking me? Are they going to no longer work with me?" When the reality is that's what they need and that's why they're coming to me. So I've stepped into it. It was a mindset shift I had to have and definitely this house supported that for sure.

 

Sandra Hoffman

I've noticed that it's quite hard for me to focus on one product and it's so hard to launch because it's so hard for me to talk three weeks, four weeks about just one thing, because I thought, "Okay, you've seen the offer. You can book there and now just move on. Let's do the next thing." And that's so hard because I'm launching at the moment and it's two weeks time and I'm just like, "Okay, I want to stop now and do the next thing and do the next thing." And so that's quite hard for me. I think that's a sabotage. Doing things the hard way, I think I don't have this so much because of my Romantic side, so that's not very strong with me. So I like to do it the easy way. That's very strong, but the focusing and like you said, a patient is a strategy, not a virtue.

That's a good one for me because I'm impatient because I'm quick, I'm a quick decision maker, so I think, "Okay, so you've seen it. Why don't you just go ahead and we can move on? We don't have to talk about this anymore because I've shown you everything." That's probably one thing which is hard, but I'm trying to do it. I'm trying to focus on one and not to step aside and post something else and do this and then that. And when I started the business, somebody said before, I can do a lot. I can have a lot with a lot of technical stuff so I did everything and then I noticed, "Okay, that's not what I want to do and I am not a done for you girl, either." It doesn't work out for me at all. I'm sitting here and I don't want to do the work. If I can teach you, we can do live coaching. I can show you everything. I can teach you everything. That's fine. But sitting at home and doing the stuff for other people doesn't fulfill me anymore. So that's maybe something what I've learned, but what I didn't know in the beginning, but now I know so I'm trying not to sabotage me anymore.

 

How has joining Sacred Money Archetypes helped you?

Kerin Monaco

SMA is going to open up a lot of doors and understanding who you are energetically and how you can align to that within your business, within your relationships, within your home is going to change things. It's going to make everything feel so much easier and so much more fluid

 

Sandra Hoffman

For me, it opened up so many things. I don't know, I always felt like I'm strange. I'm different from everybody else, and so when I came into this group and when I read all the articles about Ruler, I thought, "Okay, okay, that's me and others are like me so it's okay to be like this." That was quite good. In overall, it doesn't depend on if you're a Ruler or not, but that was quite eye opening, I'd say. And it helps so much to reflect yourself and then also to choose the right business for you, as I said, and for you that didn't work out. So I'm doing coaching now. That's quite a thing, I think. And also, what you do, like the marketing part, so for me, it's hard to talk to others because I'm like, as I said, I'm quick.

So I tell you, "Okay, that's the offer. Take it or leave it and then we can move on." But I know other people, they need more information. They need like, "Okay, we going to love each other and whatever, doing this. It was a part where you said, "Okay, if you want to advertise or market to Nurturer then you have to do it like this and if you want to market to a Maverick, do it like this", and this helped me a lot because as a Ruler, as I said, a quick, easy decision making and everything, so I don't see the problems of others, maybe. And this helped me a lot to get to know the other archetypes as well, especially from the marketing point of view.


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