You're Too Expensive

Welcome to another exciting episode of Chill & Prosper!

Today we’re talking about a really juicy and very common thing that happens in business.

If you have to deal with money, asking for money, if you have any press on your product or service, you are going to hear something at some point, it is: you're too expensive.

How does that feel?

Maybe this is not even coming from your clients, but this could even be coming from people who are not even your target market.

So what happens when you hear this?

Negative feedback about your pricing can sometimes just pull you down into a sinkhole of self-doubt. I've seen people literally throw whole businesses away over this and just go into self doubt and feel really crap about it.

So you might be wondering if you are in fact too expensive, or you're pricing yourself out of your market. And this is absolutely going to bring up your money blocks.

So today I want to share some tips about how you can get clearer on your pricing, how to deal with this thing of being too expensive.

And even...

You're not going to believe me, but even to feel good about being told you're too expensive.


I talk about ...

  • What is expensive?
  • Work on your inner value
  • Checking in with yourself to see what else is coming up
  • Feeling good about your pricing
  • You are enough


Okay, today we are talking about a really juicy and very common thing that happens in business. If you have to deal with money, asking for money, if you have any press on your product or service, you are going to hear something at some point, it is: you're too expensive.

How does that feel?

Oh my gosh. How awful does that feel sometimes when you know that you have something great to offer, you know you can help people, and quite often you are actually undercharging, not overcharging. And then you hear that and people just say, oh, that's too expensive. Now maybe they don't flat out say that, maybe they say, "Oh, that's not what I was expecting," or "that's a little bit out of my budget."

Maybe this is not even coming from your clients, but this could even be coming from people who are not even your target market. So what happens when you hear this? Now it sucks, right? Negative feedback about your pricing can like sometimes just pull you down into a sinkhole of self-doubt. I've seen people like literally throw whole businesses away over this and just go into self doubt and feel really crap about it.

So you might be wondering if you are in fact too expensive, or you're pricing yourself out of your market. And this is absolutely going to bring up your money blocks. So it might bring up stuff of like, well, who do you think you are? I am too expensive, I'm excluding people, I'm a big old bitch, and all the other stuff. So today I want to share some tips about how you can get clearer on your pricing, how to deal with this thing of being too expensive. And even... You're not going to believe me, but even to feel good about being told you're too expensive.

All right, let's go for it. Okay, so someone's told you your prices are too expensive, or you're feeling like they're going to. Now, like you might think, does Denise hear this? I've heard this like more at the start of my business than I hear it now, actually.

And that's probably one of the clues about how this impacts you. When you are feeling vulnerable, maybe about your product or service in itself, maybe you're feeling vulnerable about starting in business, you're feeling just vulnerable about money in general... This is when it's going to hit you more than other times, and sometimes when you're afraid of it happening, that's when you actually attract it most. As I said, I don't really like, hear at that much these days anyway, because I'm just not that bothered about it. And so I just, it doesn't hit me. But when I started out those words absolutely paralyzed me and they really stunted my income.

So first up, let's talk about what is expensive. Oh God, who even knows, right? So you might've got this feedback in a group, so you might've posted about your product or service in one of the business groups you're in, or a networking group. And someone said, "Oh, that sounds too expensive." Now it's so meaningless. It's so meaningless. So expensive... Let's look at real estate.

What's expensive in real estate? Depends where you live, right? I had someone at my rice farm recently, and like the rice farm has a four bedroom, little house attached to it, and it's really cute, but it's not a massive big house by any means. But one of my retreat participants was from New York. And I was saying, "Oh, it's so, so cute, but we're going to upgrade this, this, and this."

And she was like, "Oh my God, this one room is bigger than my apartment in New York." And yet we probably paid the same price for it, right? So we know when it comes to real estate, expensive completely depends on where you live, like it's a meaningless thing.

So let's think about it in terms of your business. You might say, "Hey guys, I'm a graphic designer. I'm thinking of charging $2,000 for a website. What do you think?" You will get people who go, "Oh, that's, that's too expensive," and you might take that to heart, but what does that mean? Is that too expensive for a website?

Well, it depends. It might be too expensive for somebody who is just starting out in business and who doesn't have any funds at all to start their business. It might be too expensive for somebody who has an IT background, and who is really tech savvy and can run up a website in like, an hour. They're like, why would I pay someone to do that? So that could be something that's going on behind them. It could be that they're just a super frugal person and they just don't value paying for things. It could be that they're in an industry where you don't have to have a website. All of these things.

So like, what's that saying? Opinions are like butt holes, everyone has one. And let's add a second thing onto that... Opinions like butt holes, and it's really rude to show them to other people randomly, like unsolicited, it's really rude to unsolicited-ly show someone your butt hole, can this be our new thing? Sorry, I'm just making myself laugh.

So, I actually think it's really rude to give someone unsolicited feedback on pricing, because it so depends. And this is why it's also kind of useless for you to solicit feedback about your pricing, because usually the people who are listening to that are not qualified to give you appropriate advice and feedback anyway. So they could be people in all sorts of industries. You might be in a business group where someone's a pet sitter, and someone else is a business coach, and you're all in this place together. So in that case, it's just not useful for you to solicit feedback about your pricing. They could be at all different stages of business, what one person is willing to pay might be completely different for someone who has been in business 10 years and doesn't want to outsource... sorry, doesn't want to DIY stuff anymore.

So it's just like, this is why this thing about expensive... It's just, whatever. Why is a painting, one painting, worth $100, and one painting is worth $5 million. It really makes no sense at all. Okay, so let's just say like pricing is a meaningless made up concept, and you can just charge what you want, alright? So let's just go with that for now. But when someone says you're too expensive, what they just mean is you're too expensive for me, right now. It's just a mismatch. It's not a mistake on your part, you're not being a bitch, you're not being mean, you're not being exploitative. It's about them, not about you, and it's absolutely not personal.

Now, I want you to think about... maybe when you were starting your business and you had to save up for something... And like, I've never told anyone they're too expensive, by the way. My philosophy is always the price is the price, and it's either worth it to me right now, or it's not. And some things, someone will say to me and I just go, "Oh yeah, that's easy, no brainer." Other times I go, "I don't feel like paying that, so maybe it's not the right fit for me, they haven't convinced me enough." But I don't think I've ever like, straight out said to someone, "You're too expensive."

                                                So already when someone says that, it's kind of rude. It is kind of rude, and so you don't have to meet them where they're at, just because they're a bit of a rude person. And sometimes, it is true, and that's okay as well. It's okay for something to be too expensive. It doesn't mean you have to shift and change things, it doesn't mean you have to offer them a discount. It's okay for you to be too expensive for some people.

But what does that bring up for you? Right? It might make you feel like a mean bitch, it might make you feel greedy, it might bring some of your money blocks up to the surface. It might make you feel like you're excluding someone or that you have to help everybody. All of these things are really normal. And while no price is simply just too high by itself, like it could just be a mismatch for where you're at right now, a mismatch for the market or something is not clear to really showcase the value that you really can offer.

Okay, so let's take a break. But when we come back, let's talk about some things you can say or do to make, one, that just not even be an issue for you, you won't get it as much. But, two, when it does happen, you can deal with it. Otherwise, trust me, you will end up sabotaging every sales conversation you have, because you'll feel like crap. Alright, I'll see you in a second after the break.

Hi, my name is Donna Hamer. I live on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland Australia. My business is Donna Dolitte Animal Communicator. I help people and pets connect using animal communication and energy tools. I joined the Money Bootcamp right back in the beginning. I was a single mom who was frustrated with the lack of money and direction in my life. I had read Denise's book, Get Rich, Lucky Bitch and was so inspired, I joined the Bootcamp straight away just to hang out with like-minded women who were making a difference. My biggest aha, since joining the Bootcamp was that I didn't feel I was worthy enough to have the things that I desired in my life. And I often caught myself sabotaging when I was doing well. I now regularly do upgrades. I celebrate the small ones and the big ones, and tracking money has become fun.

I quit a really well-paid job to follow my dream, to work with animals. I would have never done this without the support of Denise and the Bootcamp. I highly recommend the Bootcamp to anyone who is looking for a way to break through the barriers that holding them back from achieving what they want in life. The Bootcamp is not just about breaking through financially, although that is a big one. The lessons taught can be used in every area of your life. So big thanks to Denise, she's a total inspiration, and the entire group of lucky B's.

Okay, welcome back. We are talking about what to do, say, or even just to feel when you hear you're too expensive. As I said, this cannot be a really fun thing to hear. It can feel mean, and I actually think that most people in our community have big hearts and they actually do take it personally, it feels yuck. Okay, so one of the first things you can do is really check in with yourself and see what else it's bringing up. It might be bringing up feelings of like, just being excluded yourself. I find a lot of heart-set entrepreneurs are so mindful of the fact of other people's feelings, that they never want to exclude someone, they never want to make people feel bad. And so the answer to that is not just to work with everyone, helping them with everything. It's just to be really clear on how you can help them.

So you actually can price too high for your ideal client or who you think your ideal client is. Now that might sound harsh, right? But, if you say... I sometimes get people who mix up their philanthropy, like their charitable giving, with their business. And they go, oh, I really want to help this target market because they're really struggling. And that's great, like that can be really, really noble, but like... That can be your charitable stuff, right? You can say, 10% of my business is going to go for people who can't afford it, or 10% of my business is going to go to low-income people... But if that is your business, if your target market is someone who's always struggling with money, it's just going to be sometimes a tough sell and you're going to hear this a lot more. You're going to hear you're too expensive. Whether you're charging a dollar, a hundred dollars, a thousand dollars, ten-thousand dollars, you're always going to hear it. If your target market is people who are really, really good struggling with money.

So that isn't to say, don't go for people who are... like don't serve that market, it's just that it's okay to like, pick... trying to say this in a nice way... it's okay to pick a target market who can afford you. It's okay to work with people who can give you money. What does that bring up for you? And it's okay to have your charitable stuff be your charitable stuff, and it's okay for your business to make money. Okay? So you can press too high for your ideal client. And also, you can look at your ideal client and dig down a little bit deeper.

So it could be... You get them at a different lifecycle. They might not be beginning. They might not be struggling. It might be the same kind of client, but when they actually have money. And that informs all of your marketing, that informs how you talk to people about your business. Okay? So that's the first thing. You actually can price too high, but that's not changing your price, sometimes that's changing your target market or changing your ideal client.

You might also be charging too high for a fair value exchange. So in that case, I would look at your marketing and see where you are not showcasing your value, okay? Maybe you're just not being really clear on how you can help somebody to make it worth the money for them. And this is why, for example, I don't recommend that if you're brand new in business, that you stretch to hire, like a really expensive coach, just for the sake of it. Because it might not get you the results that you need or want just for like, a big, shiny, sexy coach.

Now, let me give you an example of this. I've been to Richard Branson's private island, it's called Necker Island, it's like 30 grand to go for a couple of days. It's like super, super expensive, but it's one of those places that... Expensive! Oh my God, I used the word too. That's so funny. But it's one of those things, like it's not an inexpensive trip. Let's put it that way. But for some people who go to Necker Island who are billionaires, it's like nothing, right? And for me it was like, oh my God, it is a stretch to go. But it said something about myself to go to Necker Island, and to be around other people who were millionaires, multi-millionaires. But sometimes people go on those trips, and they think that just spending the money itself will be enough to shift and change their whole life. And they stake too much on it.

So a friend of mine was on a similar trip to Necker Island, and there was a girl there, and she had remortgaged her house to go and meet Richard Branson on Necker island. And at the end of the trip, she was crying, and she was just so upset and scared and worried, because it didn't magically fix everything in her life, just by paying the tens of thousands of dollars to go to Necker Island. And you might even hear this and have thoughts and feelings about that, of like, oh my God, who would even pay that? But for me, it wasn't a massive deal. It was something that I knew that being in that space could very easily like, give me some little spark, or idea, or just extra motivation to quickly make that money back... She didn't have the vehicle necessarily to do that, and so she put herself into this horrible situation where she remortgaged her house because she thought that it would change everything.

So this is why sometimes they just is a mismatch of pricing, because sometimes your clients might not be in the space of their life to make that an easy win-win investment for them. Okay, and you can break this down, and you can go, okay, well, I charge... I always use the graphic designers, like someone who makes websites. As a really easy example, because I think so many of us, depending on your industry, you can really understand. So say someone charges $5,000 for a website and it's... I've paid less than that, I've paid more than that, so let's just pick that number out of our bag, basically, $5,000.

If you charged that, you could look at the target client that you're looking for and go, well, you know what? If I targeted my website to somebody who has maybe a thousand dollar product themselves, they only need five extra clients, having an amazing website, to make that back. Whereas someone whose brand new in business, like to spend $5,000 on a website, it would take them a little bit longer to make that investment back, because they would have to do so much more. They'd have to start a business from scratch if they're starting a business scratch.

So it's just a mismatch of pricing. So already, when you hear you're too expensive, you want to target what you do to people who can easily make back that investment with... Even if you just do that rule of five, right? You know, can I help them sell five extra widgets? Can I help them make five extra clients? Can I help them get five extra speaking gigs for what I do, is that going to help them? And then you don't feel... You don't feel as bad, hearing you're too expensive. 'Cause you just know, oh, I've done it again, I've just targeted my business to the wrong person, they can't clearly see how they can get it back.

Now for some of you, with your business, you can be really explicit about this. You can go, okay, here's what my fee is, you only need to sell ten of these, five of these, three of these, whatever, if it's really clear what it is. So it just has to be an alignment of value. That's all it is, and that's why you really can't take it personally. It just might mean that you have some tweaks.

Okay? So the last part really is... If you don't feel good in your pricing, you will sabotage every sales conversation, you will sabotage your website, you will sabotage your links, you will like, you have broken links and you won't even care. So you have to work on this feeling inside first, you have to work in your deserving-ness to charge for what you do. And obviously this is where I can help you, I've got a ton of resources around this, my books. So, Get Rich, Lucky Bitch is my money book, Chillpreneur is more my business book, but both really help you with that inner mindset work that you need to do to feel deserving of being paid. Because without doing that inner work, it honestly doesn't matter. Like what you do, what you charge, who you're targeting your business to, because you're always going to feel like a fraud. You'll have imposter syndrome, you will sabotage the sales conversations, you'll just feel wrong about it.

So to hear you're too expensive less, the first step is really to work on your inner value, that's it. That's it, you'll hear it less when you believe it less because, at the moment, you are attracting people who feel that way too. If you feel like you're not worth it, you're going to attract people who feel you're not worth it, no matter what you charge. And if you don't believe me, think back in times where you've discounted, you've undercharged, you've massively over-delivered, and the client still wasn't happy. They still weren't happy, and you're like, what's going on? It's because they're just reflecting back your self-worth, back to you. They're a mirror for that. And you're going, every interaction, "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy."

And they're just reflecting back, "You're not worthy. You're not enough. Give me more. I'm not satisfied."

So, does that make sense? That's why it is such an inner game. More than anything else, you have to do it inside. Okay so, being told you're too expensive. It's just a rite of passage, it's going to happen if it hasn't already. And so how do you answer this? Like, what do you say back? Once you've done the inner work and you're not hearing it as much, you'll be so unattached. It'll just be like, "Okay, no problem, I'm here when you're ready. Hey, no problem, I'm here for you whenever, my program's always open."

Or you can be like, "Hey, that's no problem. Just to let you know, my price increases in three months. So I'm happy to lock in this price for the next three months. If you change your mind, I'm here for you and I'm ready to go."

Just to let them know, not only are you not too expensive, you're not taking it personally, you're not going to automatically discount for them, and you're only going to get more expensive. Like you never going to be cheaper than this. So sometimes I'll get people, even with the payment plans that I offer on my programs, they'll go, "Well, I still can't even afford the payment plan."

And I go, "I think, well, it's never going to be cheaper than this," and I've said that, I'm going, "You know what? We only do this payment plan every now and again, so this is the best offer that you're ever going to get." You can hear in my voice, I'm so unattached about it.

And so you'll get to a place to where it'll just be like, okay, because it's neither true nor false. You're not attached, you're not triggered, it is what it is. It's okay for you to think my work is too expensive. It's okay, I'm not judging you for that, that's where you're at. That's true for you. Here's what's true for me, I give great value, I am worth it.

And they're going to hear and feel this in every interaction. So that's why it's just like, that's okay. That's totally okay. Because remember, even if you charged a dollar, someone's going to ask you why you're not doing it for free. That's okay, you're not required to serve everyone. Not everyone's an energetic match.

"That's okay, no problem. I know what it's like being on a budget. I'm here for you when you're ready. No problem, just to let you know, my prices are going up in two months time. So if you want to lock in today's price, then I'm here for you and here's the next step." I'm doing it in my like, Alexa voice, "That's okay. No problem. I'm here for you when you're ready," so easy.

Okay. So obviously if you're hearing this stuff about prices and you're just like, "Oh my God, I need to do some more work on it," there's a couple of things you can do. One, grab my book, Get Rich, Lucky Bitch, we talk a lot about pricing in there. If you need scripts, I've got a ton of scripts in Chillpreneur about what do you say when someone asks for a discount, or they want to pick your brain for free, or any of those things. There's a ton of scripts in Chillpreneur. And if you've read both of those resources, and you just know it's the inner work that you need to do, come and join us in Money Bootcamp, all the details are on my website, Denisedt.com/bootcamp. It's an incredible community, we've got a ton of tools for you to really work on that inner deserving-ness. And that might be your next step, but really, remember expensive is just a completely made up thing and it's totally safe for you to charge whatever you like. You got it? Good. Alright, I'll see you after the break.

Hello, my name is Crystal Cuskelly, and I live in Washington state, USA. I'm a massage therapist running my own practice called Crystal Connection, BodyMind Coaching and Bodywork. I am only halfway through Denise's book, Chillpreneur, and have adored every page of it. I feel more and more fired up with every chapter, and you know what? Without even finishing the book, it has inspired me to start my own podcast. Yes, Denise helped me realize that I need to stop waiting until I feel ready to do something and just do it. I can't believe how inspired I got from only the first half of the book and I cannot wait to see what shifts for me as I finish the rest. Thank you, Denise.

Hey, Denise. Dale here. I picked up, on Audible, a copy of Chillpreneur. And every morning when I walk my dogs, you were in my pocket. Telling me your stories and stuff that I needed to do. And every single time I came back from a walk, what did I do? I took your advice. I did things. I changed things. I follow things up. It's been one of the best books ever.

Hey, welcome back, and here is my final thought for today. You are enough. You are enough, I am enough. I have to say this all the time, because when you're at a job, you finish your job and that's it, usually can just go home. But if you are a creative, if you're an entrepreneur, there's always more that you can do. Like if you're a writer, you could always write more. You could always edit more. You could always write another book. You could always change a sentence. It's just really never ending. If you're an ideas person, there's always more domain names to buy. Me as an entrepreneur, I just think, oh gosh, there's always more people I can help. I can be in my DMS more. I can batch more stuff. Gosh.

Even if you're someone who just beats yourself up over all the books you haven't finished in books, you haven't read. It can really feel like you're constantly about to be in trouble, or you've always got an assignment due. And so sometimes we have to stop and pause and just say, "Oh my God, I am enough. I'm enough. It's enough."

And I think of in the movie, Babe, where he goes, "That'll do, pig." Sometimes I say that to myself, "That'll do, pig," and it's just like, good job, pat yourself on the back. There's no teacher going to give you a gold star. There's no one telling you that it's done. There's no time you'll ever read all the books.

Sometimes you just have to tell it to yourself, so just put your hand on your heart with me right now. I'm going to do it because I feel it all the freaking time too, right? I'm in a podcast studio at the moment. There's always more podcasts I can do. Oh, I get it, so let's take a deep breath... Feel where that not enough-ness lives in your body, I can feel it immediately in my gut. If you're driving, you can still kind of just keep your eye on the road. I am enough. I am enough.

Alright, gorgeous. You are enough. Go forth, chill and prosper. Peace out from me and I'll see you on the next episode, bye. Thanks for listening to chill and prosper. Tell your friends to chill and prosper. Review and subscribe. We hope you had a very good time.

About the Show

Chill & Prosper is your weekly dose of money mindset, marketing and humour from best-selling author and entrepreneur Denise Duffield-Thomas.

Denise's philosophy is that there is ALWAYS an easier way to make money and that's what she's here to help you do. Each week, you'll get actionable advice to help you make more money, with less work. There's no need to hustle - let Denise show you how to embrace the Chillpreneur way.

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