EPISODE 38:

How To Stop Sabotaging Behaviors and Make More Money!

There’s something that affects each and every one of us and holds us back from success. 

In today’s podcast episode I share how to break free.

We all have sabotaging business habits that keep us stuck and prevent us from making more money. I still have them! 

Are you holding yourself back from making money because you’re stuck in these repetitive behaviors? Self-awareness is your biggest tool in making money. 

This episode will help you bring your blocks, habits and the mindset issues that keep you stuck, out into the light. 

One behavior I see over and over is people becoming bored in their business. Recognize this? 

When this happens, you stop marketing. Stop offering your program. You launch once, and then move onto to something else? 

I totally get this. I get bored in my business too. My super simple and successful solution has been to use systems to create consistency. I batch my creativity – for two days a month I'm really productive and I use that to create consistency.

I am very wealthy because of consistency. I mean, I’m smart and have great ideas, but it's the consistency of my marketing that has allowed me to make over $20 million. 

Another sabotaging behavior is believing in divine timing and never actually taking action. If this feels true for you, you need to break free from this block. 

Try one of my favorite affirmations: It's never been a better time for me to make money. The time is now. It's my time, and I'm ready for the next step. 

For more sabotaging behaviors and how to break free from their hold over you and your money, listen in.

 

In this episode, you'll learn: 

  • How to make more money and have more fun!
  • The cost of your sabotaging behaviors
  • Why people give up their business dreams
  • How self-awareness is your biggest tool in making money
  • How I deal with boredom in business
  • Why I don’t launch during Mercury Retrograde

 

I’d love to hear what your ahas are. Tag or message me on social media @denisedt with your no 1. sabotaging behavior and how you’re dealing with it this week. 

xx Denise

P.S. Are you feeling stuck? Have you hit an income plateau or seen your business stall?

This week I’m releasing a 4-part 2022 Chill & Prosper workshop all about breaking through your income plateau in 2022. 

Video 1 is out now. Join me to look closer at how your money past could be driving these habits and sabotaging your income. It’s free, fun and practical - watch here.

 

Links

Denise Duffield...:            Hi, and welcome to another episode of Chill and Prosper. I'm thrilled to spend this time with you no matter where you're listening, whether it's on your commute on the way to work, or you are sitting in your office working on your business dreams, or even if you're driving around in the car with your kids asleep in the back, I've been there many times. So I love seeing your pictures of where you are watching. Send me your videos of singing the opening jingle. Send those things to me, I love seeing it. And I love hearing from you, and your ah-has.

                                                So today we are talking about sabotaging business behaviors that are keeping you stuck and stopping you from making more money. Now, you'll never get to a point where you're not sabotaging yourself at least some way. I still do it myself. I have a multimillion dollar business, I still have to look out for those sabotaging behaviors because they will come up again, and again, and again. So you're never going to be perfect. Perfection isn't the goal, at all. But the reason why we talk about these sabotaging behaviors though, is so you can recognize them, maybe put in a pattern interrupter so you stop doing them. And also just to get really clear on the cost of these business behaviors for you, okay? Get very clear on what it's costing you to not deal with these behaviors.

                                                Now, if you are interested in continuing this conversation after this, this is what I help people with. I help people with their money sabotaging behaviors. I have books about this. So, Get Rich Lucky Bitch is probably your first port of call. If you haven't read that yet, it's everywhere that books are sold. If you like supporting your local bookshop, you can ask them to order it in for you especially, otherwise you can buy it online. And it also comes in Audible, read by myself, if you like my voice. And also in Kindle version as well, so you can get that instant gratification. But if you know that you're sabotaging yourself, come and join us in Money Bootcamp. That's my program, that's my flagship course about helping you deal with sabotaging stuff so you can make more money. And so together we can all change the world with our money.

                                                But, let's move on to what sabotaging behaviors I'm seeing a lot at the moment in the business world. And it hurts, because I want to help everybody with these. And it's painful seeing people give up their business dreams, or hold themselves back from making money because they cannot recognize these behaviors that they're doing again, and again, and they're just unaware of them. Now, self-awareness is your biggest tool to making money. Awareness of your blocks, awareness of your behaviors, awareness of the mindset issues that you might have around making money. So let's face it, business is pretty easy. Whatever you want to do and achieve right now, someone has written a book about it. Someone has created a course. Someone has created templates and systems that you can borrow, and hack. You can Google how to do anything in your business. But if you are not working on your mindset, if you are not dealing with these sabotaging behaviors, that's going to be the thing going to derail you. That's going to keep you stuck. That's going to keep you broke.

                                                Okay, so the first thing I see a lot in the business world is creative people who get bored. They get bored with their business, they get bored with marketing, they get bored with consistency. They get super bored, and they feel like that's a valid reason to let things go in their business. They get bored before they get known for something. They get bored before something has proof of concept. They get bored, and... I don't know, just break shit, right? So here's the thing. People ask me if I get bored in my business, and how I say so consistent and stable. Here's the truth, I do get bored. I absolutely get bored, but I do not break my business. I acknowledge the boredom. I have other sabotaging behaviors beyond breaking my business. So for example, I can be a little bit of an over shopper. So when I'm feeling stuck in my business, I am on Facebook Marketplace buying antique tables to renovate at my farm. So that might not be the healthiest sabotaging behavior and coping mechanism, but I don't break my business.

                                                So when I see people getting bored, what they do is they stop marketing. They stop offering their program. They launch once, and then they launch something else. Or, what they do too... And there's a whole episode about this by the way. It's one of the very first ones, let me just find it. I think it's Episode 11: Are You Too Flaky to Be in Business? This is particularly important for people who are ideas people. And the mistake that they make is that they think everything has to be their business. So instead of staying an ideas person and finding ways to make that work, having a lot of variety, they go, "Oh, now I'm going to be a thing." And they start a whole business around that thing. And it's not enough to keep their interest. So it's totally okay to chop and change, but you've got to find a way that works for you. And a lot of people just get bored before things get good.

                                                Okay, so I have a lot of consistency in my business. I post on social media every single day. I send out a newsletter without fail. It used to be once a week. Now it's more like we send maybe three emails a week, which feels like a lot. Every single month, I tell people about joining Bootcamp in time for the next live call. I do my live calls for Bootcamp every month, and then every day I'm in that group helping people with their stuff. Do I get bored? Absolutely. Sometimes I'm sick of my own voice because I'm saying the same stuff again, and again, my message hasn't changed very much.

                                                So how do I deal with that boredom? And how do I create consistency even when I get bored? I'm very conscious of my energy. I have ADHD, I have to be very conscious of that. I get tired easily, I don't have a lot of stamina. And I'm not the sort of person who is necessarily creative every day. I'm a big procrastinator, but I have a lot of consistency. So, how do I do that, right? How do I post every day on social media? I use those one or two days a month where I'm really productive and creative. I create a whole bunch of stuff, and then I schedule it. I schedule it out. And you might go, "Oh, but it's so boring having consistency." And I go, "That's cool." I acknowledge the fact that you think it's boring to send out something every week. I acknowledge the fact that you feel like you have to feel like it for it to be authentic.

                                                And all I can tell you on the other side of that is that I am very wealthy because of that consistency, not because I'm smart, not because I have amazing ideas. Those things are true. I am smart, I do have great ideas. But it's the consistency of my marketing that has allowed me to sell so many of my things, my products and services, and has allowed me to make over $20 million. And so it's your choice. If you want to do things when you feel like it, that's cool. I'm just saying that sometimes that means that there is massive gaps in your marketing. Sometimes there's not that consistency, so people don't remember what you do. Or you don't have the consistency of asking for the sale, so people just simply don't buy. And so I'm not shaming you around it, I'm just telling you the reality of what that consistency has done for my business, and how I've not let boredom and my energy be the excuse. I've just found systems to create that consistency.

                                                And so then I see people breaking stuff because then they go, "Oh, I'm just going to start my website from scratch", because they're bored. And I don't love my website all the time, either. As soon as a website is launched, you'll find mistakes in it. As soon as you launch a book, you'll find mistakes in it. As soon as you launch a course, you'll find mistakes in it. Nothing is ever going to be perfect, but don't break stuff. Instead of telling more people about what you do, don't get stuck and get caught up in perfecting things instead of telling more people what you do, and selling more of them.

                                                So I don't break my Bootcamp ever because Bootcamp for me... Money Bootcamp is the way I help people in the world. It's the way I can have the biggest transformation on my clients. It's a business model that really works for me. And so for me, all roads lead to bootcamp. And my number one rule for myself is don't break Bootcamp. Bootcamp is my golden goose. Do not kill the golden goose. Would I love to create something new? Sometimes, absolutely. But luckily I'm not a completer finisher, so I never get around to creating anything else. And I distract myself by saying, "Great, why don't you do a podcast episode about that? Don't make it your business, make a podcast episode about it, write an article about it, talk about it on Twitter, but don't break what works. Don't break what works."

                                                Okay. I've got some more sabotaging behaviors after this break. This is a juicy topic. Don't turn it off because I know I'm sounding a bit preachy, but honestly this is for your own good. And there's ways to reframe everything, so you can make more money and have more fun doing it.

                                                Okay, I'll see you in a sec.

Speaker 3:                           Hey gorgeous, Geo Romania, former HR manager, now voiceover artist and stay at home mom.

                                                I do HR courses on Udemy, and I dream about affording the Bootcamp. I constantly have aha's and struggle with my blocks. The witch won't, got it. The need to work until I drop to deserve anything, got it. My house chores should come first, and then I deserve time for my business, got it. My greatest aha was in Chillpreneur. Denise said her clients felt like failures if they didn't finish the course, which was too large, huge aha. My first course is seven hours long. Now I cut them in smaller bits of 30 minutes, and record a congratulations message at the end, so the clients feel great.

                                                Thanks a lot Denise, Love Geo.

Speaker 4:                           Hi, I'm Gisell Munoz, relationship coach for women, and I live in Brisbane. I found Denise on YouTube, and watching her videos helped me to change my perspective about rich people, about abundance, about money. And her mantra, "It is my time and I am ready for the next step", helped me so much, my life has changed. I love only with that mantra. So I cannot wait to read the books, and as well, looking forward to participate in the Bootcamp because that I'm going to give it to myself as my birthday gift.

                                                Thank you so much, Denise. I really appreciate all of what you are doing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Denise Duffield...:            Okay, welcome back. We are talking about sabotaging business behaviors that keep you stuck and stop you from making more money. So we talked about getting bored before things get good, breaking things that work, and really letting your energy go with the flow. And as I said, if I did business when I felt like it, you would get 20 posts in one day and then you would get nothing for three weeks. And then I would go, "Oh my God, I'm behind. Oh no, people haven't heard from me for ages. Oh, it's going to be awkward." And that's what I see people do all the time. So I use those short periods of creativity to batch things, and then I schedule them. And I have created systems to create consistency in my business. So if you struggle with that, if you never send out your newsletter, a really good investment could be getting a team member who makes it happen no matter what, who gives you that accountability to actually make it happen.

                                                For me, if I recorded a podcast when I felt like it, it wouldn't happen. So what I do is twice a year, I book time at a podcast studio. I have to show up. I've got the lovely Josh, listening to me now in the other room. And I have to show up and speak because I've paid for the time. That's the accountability I need to stop me sabotaging my business, and sabotaging my marketing. Okay, so if you need some accountability there, don't rely on you doing it, it's just not going to happen. If you are procrastinating launching your book, you're never going to feel like it. So this is the next sabotaging behavior I want to talk about is believing in divine timing so much that you never actually do anything. This is a massive sabotaging behavior.

                                                And I think it's smart to look at dates and look at timing for sure. And to look at your energy and to give yourself the best chance of success. So often, I do look at dates like mercury retrograde dates, because sometimes I have launched during mercury retrograde and things do seem to go wrong, tech things do happen. And there is even rules within that. So in mercury retrograde, it's okay to rehearse things, to relaunch things that have already happened, to tweak things, to repeat things. So you can still launch, but it might not be something brand new where there's a lot of moving pieces, where there's a lot of tech things that could go wrong.

                                                So I'm all for that, but I see people rely on timing so much that they never ever launch. Because they go, "I don't feel ready, I don't look ready, my body's not ready, my kids are young right now. I'm too young, I'm too old, it's not my time. I'll wait until the global pandemic is over." How many of us used that excuse throughout the... However long the pandemic has probably gone for, still now. But at the start of the pandemic, I just saw people go, "Oh, well, I'm just going to throw in my business. What's the point?" And then I saw so many other businesses, pivot, and shift, and thrive. Businesses that we never thought could be done over Zoom, were done over Zoom. We adapted, but I saw people go, "It's not the right time."

                                                I bought a cubby house during the first year of the pandemic, and I remember thinking, "Oh, it's not the right time. I'll buy it for Christmas." And finally I thought, "No, our kids would really love to use this now." And so I went to see the local company that custom makes cubby houses, because of course, it's a really beautiful cubby house. And it was September, and I said, "Oh, I want to buy a cubby house." And he goes, "Oh, might be able to get it for you for Christmas." And I went, "What? It's September?" And he goes, "I've never been busier." And I'm like, "It's a pandemic." And he goes, "Yeah, because people are at home and they go, "I need to do that carport. I need to do the shed. I need something for all my hobbies." And what I realized around that is how many businesses use the pandemic as an excuse of timing. And then other businesses went, "There's never been a better time for me to offer this." And that meant that you had to pivot and shift.

                                                And I spoke to a graphic designer about this. So she lost a lot of work at the start of the pandemic because a lot of entrepreneurs were going, "Wow, I thought I needed a new website. But you know what? My website's fine at the moment. I don't want to spend that money." And I said to her, "There are businesses out there who have never been busier." And I said, "My shed guy does not have a mobile responsive website. He has not got an inquiry form. He does not have a newsletter. His photos are terrible. He does not have a social media presence." And so I said, "Look, yes, some of your clients are not doing well at the moment. But think of all the other businesses who, now they need it. Now they need you more than ever. And they need that website presence."

                                                So timing, it's like, "It's not the right time, but I'm going to do it anyway. Today is my lucky day. Today is my lucky day, and I'm going to find the timing that is right for me right now. And it's never been a better time for me to make money." So timing, timing, timing. The time is now. And this is why I always say that affirmation. "It's my time, and I'm ready for the next step. It's my time, and I'm ready for the next step. It's my time now, and I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait until I feel ready, I'm not going to wait until I'm older, I'm not going to wait until I'm thinner, I'm not going to wait until I get all the go signals. I'm just going to move forward anyway, and I'm going to find a way. And I'm going to kick down the windows if the doors are closed."

                                                Okay, so the last sabotaging behavior that I see is really fascinating. And I hope I don't piss anyone off here, but I see trends happening a lot in the online world where it's the anti everything. Like, "Oh, marketing sucks, funnels suck, blueprints suck, emails suck, email's dead. And all these people declare things dead, and it just goes in waves. And the funny thing about that is that anti-marketing is still marketing. It's just a different message. The underdog story is a very powerful marketing story. The reluctant hero story is a very powerful archetypal marketing story. And so don't buy into this thing of rebellion for the sake of rebellion. And it's totally okay for you to buy a system and then make it your own. You don't have to start everything from scratch to be super rebellious, and to be unique.

                                                It's totally okay for you to buy a how to launch a program course, and then do it your own way. But don't expend all your energy on reinventing the wheel on things that don't need to be reinvented. It's totally okay for you to use evergreen, smart systems that have been around for a long time because they work. It does work to tell people about what you do. It does work to send out emails. It does work to post on social media. That doesn't mean you have to do all the things. It doesn't mean you have to do it in the same way as everyone else does. Like when TikTok came out, I had massive FOMO about TikTok. And then I saw the backlash of people going, "Uh-uh, TikTok doesn't work." And it's like, everything works, but it might not be right for you. And that's okay, doesn't mean it doesn't work. It might not be something you want to expend energy on. Doesn't mean that social media doesn't work.

                                                And so, have discernment about what rules are worth throwing out, and what is just rebelling for rebelliousness sake, because you can reframe that to be, this is a smart hack. This is a smart hack to buy templates. It's a smart hack to buy tools that are going to help me. It's a smart hack to buy a course on how to do the thing and then make it my own, and expend all your energy on what's going to make it different and what's going to make it creative. And my final message on that, I think, is that people go, "I don't want to do marketing. I don't want to do a launch. I don't want to do the thing. I'm just going to manifest the clients. I'll just manifest them." And manifesting means make real, that's all it means.

                                                To manifest something means to make it appear, to make it real in the real world. And guess what? Marketing is manifesting clients. That's how you tell people about what you do. That's how you manifest clients in the real world. That's how you manifest money. You don't have to win stuff all the time. You can make money from telling people about what you do, give them the thing, receive the money, and make money that way. So I would love to hear your aha's around this. If you disagree with stuff on this, or if you've seen some of these sabotaging behaviors in yourself. It's safe for you to make money, it's safe for you to look at your sabotages, it's safe for you to learn and grow, and it's safe for you to stop doing those things. And of course, I'm here to help. If you come and join my Money Bootcamp, that's exactly what we do.

                                                Now, I have got one more final thought for you though, to finish off today. And I will see you right after this very short break.

Speaker 5:                           Hey there everyone. My name is Kylie Ross, and I'm a creative entrepreneur based in Brisbane, teaching you how to use and be tech confident in your business with all the tech tools necessary. I joined Money Bootcamp in 2019 because I was just stuck on making a living from my business, and had been stuck for a few years. I discovered how many money blocks I was dealing with. And it took a while for me to work them, after realizing there were no shortcuts on the process. So I put in the work, and then started to see results. The Money Bootcamp community have always been there with supportive advice and experience. And I'm now charging my worth to clients, no longer apologetic for it, and now I know I'm worthy of upgrades. I always recommend Denise, and Money Bootcamp. And love the fact my year old son follows my example of tapping manifestation and positive affirmations, as he too is experiencing the benefits. He is now set up for a good money story during his life. I thank Denise, and all the Lucky B's daily. I'm so grateful I found this group.

Denise Duffield...:            Hi, and welcome back. And thanks for sticking with me to the end. Brownie points for you, extra gold stars for you.

                                                My final thought for today is about being ethical and having money. And some people are very adamant that those two things can never coexist. It's like, "Eat the rich. All billionaires are bad, and no it's super unethical to have more than you need." And here's the problem with that. I mean, yes, I agree with so much of that. I'm left leaning, obviously. But the only people who take that to heart are people who could actually do really good things with their money, because the people who are screwing things up for the rest of us, and not paying taxes, and wrecking the environment, they're not taking any of that message to heart at all. And they do not give an F.

                                                So for you, what ethics do you feel like you are going to have to give up to make more money? And that's a really interesting discussion for you. You might deep down just think, "Nope, I just can't do it." And there's some extra exploration for that for you about how you can use money in better ways. What problems would you like to solve in the world with your money? And you don't have to solve all the problems of the world, but what would really benefit from you having extra time, extra energy, extra resources, and extra cash to throw at solving a problem.

                                                And a lot of the problems in our world that have been solved before, a lot of money has gone into it. Money that funds studies, money that lobbies people, money that helps change laws. And unfortunately, money does change a lot of things in our society, and often it's for the bad, not for the good. So just see what ethics you feel like you have to give up to make more money, and allow yourself to reconcile that. And it could be an affirmation like, "It's safe for me to be ethical and rich. It's safe for me to have the highest ethics. It's safe for me to be a wealthy, ethical person." And just see, and play around where the edges of that still feel uncomfortable for you. And it's not so easy, it's not so black and white. I totally understand where those feelings might be coming up, and it's very understandable.

                                                I want to hear aha's around this though. So send me a message, start a conversation on your social media accounts, and we can have a chat and see where we can reconcile that a little bit. And see where we can use our money as tools as a tool for good in the world, and share those examples.

                                                All right, have an amazing week. And I will see you next week on Chill and Prosper

 

About the Show

Chill & Prosper is your weekly dose of money mindset, marketing and humour from best-selling author and entrepreneur Denise Duffield-Thomas.

Denise's philosophy is that there is ALWAYS an easier way to make money and that's what she's here to help you do. Each week, you'll get actionable advice to help you make more money, with less work. There's no need to hustle - let Denise show you how to embrace the Chillpreneur way.

Be sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss an episode!

SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES
SUBSCRIBE ON SPOTIFY
SUBSCRIBE ON GOOGLE
Close