How to stop worrying about money
We’re kicking off another year of the Chill & Prosper podcast by diving into a big topic: money worries.
I’m ready to stop worrying about money!
Let’s face it: there are so many things happening in the world right now that can make us feel unsure. The last couple of years especially have created a lot of money worries for a lot of people.
And let's not gaslight ourselves:, there are real economic pressures that are happening right now.
So that's my disclaimer straight off the bat, today’s podcast episode is not about loving and lighting our way out of money worries.
And I’m also not pretending that those things don't exist - that the economy is perfect, there's no poverty in the world, and we're just going to ignore all of that.
No, I’m talking about what you can personally do when you're feeling worried about money, as everyone can have money worries at any level of income.
You might think that when you have a particular amount of money, then you'll never feel fearful about money again.
And that's absolutely not true.
You can feel good at any income level, and you can also feel not so good at any income level.
You might think, "Oh, Denise, she's the chillpreneur. She's so lucky. She must never worry about money."
And you know what? That is true a lot of the time.
So I want to acknowledge my privilege here.
I'm a very wealthy woman, and I absolutely have a lot of privilege and wealth in my life now.
But that doesn't mean I still don't worry about money sometimes.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- How I grew up in scarcity and still feel the worry today
- How money worries affect you at different levels of business
- My tips on avoiding the mindset spiral of panic and fear
- The first step (you can take today) to start moving past your money worries
- My go-to technique for releasing negative emotions
- Practical steps to help you save money and clear debt
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Denise Duffield...: (Singing).
Denise Duffield...: Hey. Hey friend, and welcome to Chill and Prosper. I am thrilled to spend this time with you. Now, we are talking about money worries today. How to stop worrying about money? What to do when you feel yourself stressing about money? And especially this is very timely because, let's face it, there are so many things happening in the world at the moment. The last couple of years have created a lot of money worries for a lot of people. And let's not gaslight ourselves, there are economic pressures that are happening in the world. So that's my disclaimer straight off the bat, that this episode is not about loving and lighting our way out of money worries necessarily. But it's also not about pretending that those things don't exist, that pretending that the economy is like, everything's perfect and there's no poverty in the world and we're just going to ignore all of that. No. But we are going to talk about what can you personally do when you're feeling worried about money and it feels very real and it's very stressful and it's horrible.
Denise Duffield...: So one thing that I want to say though is that everyone can have money worries at any level of income. You might think that when you have a particular amount of money, then you'll never feel fearful about money again. And that's absolutely not true. So you can feel good at any income level and you can also feel not so good at any income level. And so if you're listening to this and you feel guilty because you think, "Oh, I should be just grateful. I shouldn't voice this fear about money." Then no, you're totally valid to. And if you're on the other side of it where you're going, "I have some real scarcity in my life at the moment, but I shouldn't be thinking this way because I should only think positively about money." Well then you are welcome too, because it feels real.
Denise Duffield...: And you might think, "Oh, Denise, she's the chill preneur. She's the lucky bitch. She must never worry about money." And you know what? That is true a lot of the time. And I want to acknowledge my privilege here. I'm a very wealthy woman now and I absolutely have a lot of privilege and wealth in my life now. I mean, easily top one percenter in the world but that doesn't mean I still don't worry about money sometimes. I worry about my responsibilities. I worry about being able to take care of all of my employees and my family and my assets and all of those things. So I do a lot of the things I'm going to be sharing with you today as well, because it feels real to me. It really does.
Denise Duffield...: But also I know what it's like to really have that fearful feeling about money. I grew up in a situation where we pretty much always worried about money in lots of ways. One of my very early memories about money is listening to my mom talk to her friend on the phone. And even speaking on the phone was expensive back then, so it was always very quick conversations. But she was talking about what she was going to feed us and being worried about not having enough money to feed us. I felt that real scarcity feast or famine kind of feeling, that survival feeling. I spent all of my twenties constantly worrying about money. And as I said, I still feel that feeling now. So it's real. If you're listening to this episode and you have money worries, it's real and it's totally okay.
Denise Duffield...: But what do we do about it? Because yes, mindset is really important. Not to gaslight ourselves about our situation, but it's important so we don't spiral and also that we have some energy and some bandwidth to actually take some positive action to get out of that feeling worried about money. Because when we are in it and we feel scarce and we feel in our survival instincts, how hard is it to do anything? It's so hard to work on your broke. It's so hard to reach out to clients and it can really, really spiral.
Denise Duffield...: But we know that the thing about the law of attraction is that you get more of what you already are. So when you're really stressed about money, sometimes it seems to get worse. We attract more things. We're looking for bad things to happen sometimes. So we sometimes find unexpected expenses or we're so worried we stop paying attention and then we get a speeding fine or a parking fine and we feel like the whole universe is against us. And it starts to compound. It's not that you're creating it. It's just that you're not paying attention sometimes or sometimes bad stuff happens.
Denise Duffield...: So what do you do? Now, the first thing that I would love you to do actually, is to acknowledge it. Acknowledge it. Sometimes people are scared to acknowledge it because they're almost like, "No, but if I look at it, Denise, it will grow. If I really truly acknowledge my fears, I will fall apart or I will just collapse in a heap." And it's totally okay to voice your fears and acknowledge what you're feeling because sometimes we go around and we've just got this low level feeling of dread and it could be over something really small. It could be like, "I have to make that phone call," or "I have to chase up that one client." But it becomes so catastrophic in our lives that it feels like everything's falling apart.
Denise Duffield...: So sometimes it's really great just to voice what you're worried about. And that could be with a friend, it could be with your business bestie, it could be with a mentor, it could be with your coach. Also don't feel worried about calling a help line. I remember one time when I was working in a job and I was having so many stressful feelings about my boss, and I felt like I was being bullied and HR didn't really do anything, I called a help line and it was just so amazing. I felt so much relief just talking about it to somebody. And so when we can share our burdens, one, it helps us articulate it so we can actually just say, "Oh, I'm worried about this one thing," or, "I'm worried about these things," rather than just feeling like, "Oh, the whole world is collapsing around me." It's like, "Okay, we can voice it."
Denise Duffield...: So if you don't have anyone in your life to be able to voice those things to, you can still voice it by journaling it. You can journal it and write it out so you can see it there in black and white. It starts to become a little bit more manageable when you can name it, when you can see it.
Denise Duffield...: The other thing too, if you like to do something like Emotional Freedom Technique, EFT, otherwise known as tapping. When you do tapping, you voice the thing that you're scared about and you say it out loud because it lessens its power over us. And so you'll say, "Even though I'm worried about money right now, I deeply and completely love and accept myself." And then if you can get even more specific, "Even though I'm worried about how I'm going to pay that bill," or, "Even though I'm worried about the economy drying up on my clients, I deeply and completely love and accept myself." And then that way it helps you just to go, "Okay, now I know. Now I can do something about it." What do they say? A problem shared as a problem halved. And it really is. It really is such a big part of it. Okay, so that's step number one is voice it, just say what you're worried about.
Denise Duffield...: Step number two is then you can make a plan. You can say, "Okay, I'm really worried about not being able to have enough clients. What can I do about that?" It's really hard to do that if you haven't voiced your fears by the way. So you can be like, "Okay, I'm worried that the economy's going to go bad and all of my clients are going to cancel." And so you can make a plan for that. You can go, "Okay, so how many clients do I really need?"
Denise Duffield...: And have you noticed, even from a manifesting point of view too, I'll say to people, "What's your goals at the moment?" They go, "More clients." I go, "How many clients?" And they go, "Oh, I don't know, three." And you go, "Great. Well, at least now you can make a plan for what you want and set a goal and be specific." Because otherwise, again, you're just going, "Universe, please help me." But you're like, "Okay, but what do you need?" Do you need a boat? Do you need a helicopter? What do you need? Do you need a life jacket? But you can't do that if you don't know what you need. So okay, I need three clients a month. Okay, you can make a plan for that. Okay, I need to make sure that I pay this bill by this date, otherwise we'll get a fine. Okay, great. Now you know what that is. It's just hard when you're being very, very vague. Universe, send me more money, more clients, please. Okay, how many more clients? How much money do you need to know?
Denise Duffield...: And that's step number three when you're worried about money is actually to know your numbers. How much do you really need right now? How much do you need to make and what's it going towards? Okay? Because again, sometimes you have this vague feeling, I just need someone to fix it. I don't even know you know what I need. And so I actually say to people, if you're worried about money, write down, for example, your bills, your debts. Actually write them down, get some information.
Denise Duffield...: Now, in my twenties when I was really terrible with debt and I was just like, "I'm in debt," I actually didn't know what interest rate I was paying. I had a vague idea, but I didn't really know exactly. I was always getting late fines. And some of you might be thinking, what? How do you even do that? But I have ADHD, and it was confusing for me sometimes. So I would pay my bill a couple of days late and I would get a late fine, because I didn't know, I didn't have the information. So I created a spreadsheet and I would be like, "Okay, these are all my debts. Here's the interest rate," and then I could make a plan. I started doing the snowball method where I think I paid off the highest interest rate first and then I put extra money towards it.
Denise Duffield...: But knowing your numbers and knowing what you need is going to be so helpful because then you can make decisions and you can go, "Okay, well I need this. How many clients is that? How many clients do I need to do that?" You're just more empowered with it. So if you've got debts, find out how much your debts are. If you've got bills, find out how much your bills are that you need to pay. Write it all down on paper, just feel empowered around it so you can be more specific and then you know how much money you need to manifest.
Denise Duffield...: Okay. So just to recap our first ones. So if you're feeling really worried about money right now, just know that it's totally okay. It's totally fine. Voice your fears, actually speak them out loud to a business bestie, to a friend, to your journal as you're tapping. Even though I'm scared about this thing, voice it. Stir up that muddy puddle. Allow yourself to acknowledge it. Don't gaslight yourself around it. It's better out than in like farts, better out than in. Don't hold it in.
Denise Duffield...: Number two, then you can make a plan. You can start to say, how many clients do I need? What do I need to do this? Then knowing your numbers, really, really important. How much do you need right now? What bills have you got? Just writing all of those things down. And the other reason why you do that is that when unexpected money does come in you know where it's going straight away and it doesn't just get swallowed up very, very quickly.
Denise Duffield...: Okay, I'm going to have a quick break and when I come back, I've got more tips on what to do when you're feeling worried about money. Okay, see you in a sec.
Jo Mould: It's Jo Mould from Genius Partners and Network Marketing Woman from Sydney, Australia. I absolutely love Denise. My favorite book is Get Rich, Lucky Bitch. I've just listened to it again. I probably do that every 18 months or so. Bootcamp is my favorite place to hang out, and I think I honestly tell at least two or three women every week to get inside with us because, oh, it's uplifting. It's everything that we need as female entrepreneurs.
Denise Duffield...: Okay, welcome back. We are talking about money worries and what to do about it when you're feeling worried about money. So we are onto tip number four, and this is about plugging leaks, plugging money leaks in your life and your business. Now this happens at every level. This happens to me quite often too, where I will have a little subscription that I've forgotten about or a software that I'm not using, or just little leaks that I no longer need. And this is going to help you feel really empowered when you're feeling worried about money, but it also has a very curious effect sometimes of decluttering and creating energy and space. So you can go and have a look at your subscriptions.
Denise Duffield...: So if you have a PayPal account, there's something called the recurring payments dashboard. So if you've paid for things with using PayPal and you're on a subscription, that's where you'll find them. And you might find a little annual subscription for a piece of software that you don't need. That's a great place to go and look. Another place to look is in your iTunes account in your subscriptions. Because I looked in mine recently and there was a meditation app that I never really used. And so I was like, "Oh, it's about to renew," and I took it off. A photo editing app that I no longer use, I found something else and I just stopped them. And it was really interesting. They were very much money. One was like $20 a month, one was $80 a year, but it was just something about like, "Oh, I'm taking charge of this. I feel really good about it. I'm taking charge of this."
Denise Duffield...: There was also a software that I used to have every month. It was actually quite an expensive one. It was about $150. And every month I was like, "Oh, I totally should do that." And I felt so guilty that I wasn't using it. It was like an SEO kind of thing for my website. I felt so guilty. I was like, "I'll definitely use it next month." And then I felt guilty. I was like, "Ah, but I've already spent money on it, so it'll be a waste if I cancel it now because then I'll never have gotten any value out of it." And just at some point I just go, "You know what? That money's gone deal with it," and I let it go. But it felt really empowering to go, "Okay, I don't need that anymore." So plug up some of those leaks. And that's all ways, right? So it could be clients who owe you money, invoices that you haven't sent, follow ups that you haven't sent, refunds that you need to apply for.
Denise Duffield...: For example, I bought a pair of shoes recently from a designer consignment website and expensive ones. They're secondhand, but they're still expensive. And I tried them on and they were just a bit too small. And I was like, "Ugh, I made my bed. I should lay in it." I was like just suck it up. And then I went, "Nope, I'm going to send them back." And that's a money leak, holding onto things that you are putting up with or that you need refunds for. Maybe it's a group that you no longer want to be in. I did that again recently. I was in kind of like a mastermind and I never used it. I never ever used it. And it was a couple grand a month I was, I felt guilty about canceling, but I was like, I just don't use it and so I plugged up that leak. And all of those things, even if it's $5, if it's a hundred dollars, if it's a thousand dollars, whatever, all of those things will help you to feel less worried about money because you are doing something about it. So clean up those.
Denise Duffield...: And also, don't forget all of these podcast episodes, we have the transcripts printed out for you. You don't have to remember these things. We just come to the denisedt.com/podcast. Search for this episode or wherever you're listening to it, there's probably a link to it. And I'll just list all of those things out for you so you don't have to remember. Okay? So plug up those leaks. That was number four.
Denise Duffield...: Number five though is almost the opposite to this. And don't cut off your nose to spite your face. You know that saying, don't cut your nose off to spite your face? So sometimes when people are feeling worried about money, they cut things that they actually really need in their business and it's like a false economy. Okay, I'll give you an example of this. I'll see people, they go, "I don't need an online calendar. I can just email people back and forth. That seems like a nice to have." But on the other side of it, some of your clients might not book in if you don't make it easy for them. So you might lose more money than you gain from cutting something like that. So don't make things harder for yourself. Don't cut things that help you make money. Don't cut things that make it easier for your clients.
Denise Duffield...: And I see this sometimes with physical businesses, they'll be like, "Okay, we're cutting our hours," and then people just don't go because they're never open and that's really hard. And there's like a bakery near me, they're only opened one Saturday a month and I never remember. So you've got to really find that balance of what things are a nice to have and what things make your life easier. You might think, "Oh, I'll cut my cleaner." But if your house was really messy, you might feel really stressed and then you might not work on your business. So only you know those differences, but don't cut your nose off to spite your face. Don't make things harder for yourself than they need to be. Don't make it harder for your clients. You can simplify for sure, but don't make things harder than they need to be for yourself. Okay, so that's tip number five.
Denise Duffield...: Tip number six is to surround yourself with abundance as much as you can in as many ways as you can. So what do I mean by that? When you're worried about money, it's just so encompassing. It might impact your sleep, it might impact your daily life, it might impact your confidence, all of those things. And so how can you create abundance in your life where you're at right now so then you can have more energy, so you can feel better in so many ways?
Denise Duffield...: And so an example of that could be use your best China, wear your perfume, change your sheets more often, things like that. It's not like they cost you a lot of money because most of the time it's stuff you've already got, but it will help you to feel more abundant right now. Surrounding yourself with as much talk of abundance as possible. So it could be listening to podcasts that make you feel good rather than make you feel anxious.
Denise Duffield...: I found too over the last couple of years where a lot of political things are happening, a lot of environmental disasters or there's a lot of doom and gloom out there for sure and I love being informed about the world. I keep myself informed. But sometimes when you're feeling down, those things do not help you. So you could be like, "You know what? Just for a week until I get back on my feed or a couple of weeks, I'm actually not going to listen to that podcast for a bit," or, "I'm not going to follow that person for a little bit and I'm just going to protect my energy. I'm going to listen to a different podcast. I'm going to not see my friend who is very doom and gloom for a little while." Not forever, but just to protect your energy and surround yourself with abundance.
Denise Duffield...: And be deliberate about that in your life. Be deliberate about that in your daily life to be like, "You know what? I might not feel really abundant in this moment, but I'm going to use my favorite teacup. I'm going to use that tea that I've been saving in the back of the cupboard." We've always got those nice teas that our girlfriend bought for Christmas or something and we're like, "I'm going to use that tea. I'm going to use that beautiful soap because I am worth it now and I'm going to surround myself now with as much abundance as possible." So that's really important. What ways can you feel abundant now in as many ways as you can? Time, energy, physical things and being very gentle with yourself.
Denise Duffield...: And that is my seventh tip as well, is to remind yourself that you are enough. You are enough, and that it's okay, that it's okay that you've got these money worries and you can totally handle it. And as I said, I'm a very successful person, I still have money worries. And sometimes for me it comes up of like, can I handle this? Can I handle the complexity of hiring people and can I handle the complexity of a bigger business? And can I handle taking on big projects? And I have to remind myself, it's like, you know what? You are enough. That's okay. You can do this.
Denise Duffield...: On the flip side of it, if you are feeling less than at the moment because you're seeing people really prosper in their business and getting lots of clients or seemingly unaffected by the world, you have to also remind yourself, I can handle this. This is okay. I'm enough. I'm not less than because I'm having a temporary dip or that I'm not making as much as I want to right now. I am enough. I'm a good person. And that could be meditation, it could be journaling, it could be just affirmations or things like that. But just reminding yourself that you are enough and all of those things will help you just have a bit more energy to do that.
Denise Duffield...: So let me just recap from the start again. If you're feeling worried about money, it's totally cool. Everyone has the same feeling, so don't feel like you're alone. Number one, remember, voice your fears. Say it out loud. If you've got someone trusted that you can talk to about it, here's what I'm worried about. Or even just say, "I'm worried about this. I'm worried about this." Being able to say it.
Denise Duffield...: And actually, can I just say one thing on that too? I didn't do that at the start of the pandemic in 2019. I didn't voice my fears out loud. I was trying to be the flight attendant saying to everyone, 'Everything's fine. Everything's fine. You'll be fine. Everything's fine." And I wasn't voicing my fears that I had secretly in my heart, so I had a full on breakdown like six months into that because I was holding onto everyone else's pain and not voicing my own fears. And now what I do is I have a monthly session with somebody to do tapping, to talk through my fears because I need people to hold space for me too.
Denise Duffield...: So if you are in my situation where you hold space for everybody else, you give everyone advice, you are the flight attendant who tells everyone, "It's fine. It's just a little bit of turbulence," then you even more need to voice your fears and allow yourself to be vulnerable as well. Okay? That's really important. So voice your fears, say it out loud, what you're worried about.
Denise Duffield...: Then you can make a plan, right? What will help you feel better about it? What do you need? What help do you need? What clients do you need? And then know your numbers, not only knowing how many clients you need, what kind of money you need right now, but know your numbers in your business. A lot of people will say to me, "I'm really worried. Oh, no, clients are coming in." I'm going, "Great. How many people have visited your sales page?" They don't know and that's information you need to know because then you can stop going, "Oh, I suck. Everyone hates me. No one likes my stuff." And you can go, "Oh, not enough people have seen it. Okay, now I can do something about that." So really know your numbers around everything. Clarity, money loves clarity. You need to know those things.
Denise Duffield...: Step number four is to take some action, plug some leaks in your business, in your life. Little places that are frittering away money that you no longer need, clean up those because sometimes there's abundance waiting for you, but you're frittering it away and it will just help you. Yeah, from a money manifesting point of view too, take care of what you've already got. You can manifest more. Step number five though, is don't cut things that will cause chaos or further stress for you. Sometimes you just have to maintain your standards, maintain your business. Don't cut things that will cause chaos in your business or make it hard for people to give you money and pay you money. That was step number five.
Denise Duffield...: Step number six is to surround yourself with abundance in any way you can. Now, whether it's using your best perfume, using your best crockery, listening to positive things, giving yourself permission to feel abundant even when the money hasn't necessarily showed up in your bank account. Do those things that are free that will help you to feel good now and then that way you can take action. And then step number seven is to constantly remind yourself that you are enough. You are not money, you are not scarcity, you are enough and it's totally fine. You are enough. You've got everything you need to take different action. And this too shall pass, is a big thing that I always say in those situations.
Denise Duffield...: All right, so hopefully that's helped and we've got one more break and then just come back in a second for one more final thought from me.
Heather Schwart...: Hi, my name is Heather Schwartz. I'm the author of How to Be Ridiculous, 28 Tips For A Brand New You, as well as many other books on my website, heathereschwartz.com. I have read all of Denise's books and they're all amazing. If I had to pick a favorite, it would probably be Lucky Bitch. That one tells the story of how she and her husband won this honeymoon tester's competition and it sounds like luck. But then reading the book, you find out all the specific steps that they took and it's just filled with takeaways that you can use in your own business. Thank you so much for that one, Denise. That one is great.
Denise Duffield...: Okay, welcome back. So remember what I said at the start is that money itself doesn't cure money blocks, money itself doesn't cure money fears necessarily. So you don't have to wait for this massive big windfall to come into your life to feel better about money. You can start feeling better about money in anyway you can right now. Give yourself permission to feel good about money and to make friends with money no matter where you're at. It's your time, you're ready for the next step. You really are. Ah, go forth and prosper, and I'm here for you. All right, I'll see you next week.
Denise Duffield...: (singing)
About the Show
Chill and Prosper is your weekly dose of money mindset, marketing and humour from best-selling author and entrepreneur Denise Duffield-Thomas.
Denise's philosophy is that there is ALWAYS an easier way to make money and that's what she's here to help you do. Each week, you'll get actionable advice to help you make more money, with less work. There's no need to hustle - let Denise show you how to embrace the Chillpreneur way.
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