How to Get Good at Saving Money


There are so many money mindset layers around saving money. It might feel uncomfortable. And that’s great. You absolutely need this! In today’s Chill and Prosper podcast episode we are talking about something super juicy - setting a savings goal and getting good at saving money. 

Around 10 to 20% of people have never saved. I have always struggled to save money. Feast or famine was a natural state for me as a kid. 

Think about your early money memories; these can really impact your ability to save money. If you were good at saving as a kid but you had a family member that raided your piggy bank then you might be unconsciously pushing money away because you feel like something bad will happen. If I have extra money, I'll have to give it away. Someone will steal it from me. 

Know this: it's safe for you to have more than you need. It's safe for you to have a buffer. It's safe for you to be creative and have money in the bank. It's safe for you to set boundaries with people who might ask for money. 

Even if you’ve failed at saving money a million times that's okay. You can get back on the savings bandwagon. It’s ok if you screw it up. Just start over.

The first time I set up a direct deposit into a savings account it was for $5 a month. That felt comfortable. Then I started to slowly increase it. It started to create a sense of abundance, which trickled over into other areas. 

Your homework is to set up a savings account. Set up an automatic payment so you don't have to think about it. If you've already got that in place, upgrade to the next level.

And here are your affirmations. 

It's safe for me to have excess. It's safe for me to have more than I need. It's safe for me to have a buffer. It's safe for me to have a backup plan. It's safe for me to have savings.


In this episode, you'll learn: 

  • How I was almost a little addicted to feast or famine mindset
  • How your parents impacted your ability to save
  • Dealing with the guilt and shame that come up around savings     
  • The reasons why it feels unsafe to save
  • How even $5 dollars a month creates abundance
  • You need to pay yourself first




Denise Duffield...:            Hello gorgeous, and welcome to another episode of Chill and Prosper. Now I would love, send me videos of you singing that opening song by the way. I would love to see you and your family. So many people tell me their kids sing along to it. I don't know, I just think that's just so much fun. So absolutely tag me in any of those videos that you make please, please, please. Okay, so today we are talking about something super juicy and it is talking about setting a savings goal and being really good at saving money. Now this has so many money mindset layers and money block layers to reveal. It is so much fun to talk about this. And it also might be a topic that will feel a little bit icky and uncomfortable to you. And that is great. That's why you absolutely need to listen to it.

                                                Now, just one disclaimer though. There are certain group of my listeners who actually do not need to listen to this. You guys are the accumulators in the money archetypes. You are the bankers, you are really good at saving. You have no idea why people find it so hard. And you're just like, "What? Why would even people need to listen to a whole podcast episode about savings because it's so easy?" So you do not need to listen to this episode. It's totally okay for you to skip it. Or if you want to understand why some of your customers or clients or family members don't have that same attitude to you then absolutely still listen. Because it might be revealing for you about why it's hard for some people. Okay. So now most people I coach I would say, because if the accumulators are really good at savings, I would say then 80% of people that I meet kind of struggle with this idea of savings.

                                                And I would say 10 to 20% of people just have never done it and it just blocks them so, so much. So I want to talk a little bit about why and how you can kind of almost trick yourself to learn to save. Okay. So let me just go back a little bit. So I have always struggled and struggled so much to save money. And I think part of that was a little bit of my money personality. So I'm a ruler, maverick, and a romantic. So rulers are the empire builders, the workaholics. So my thing was always like, "Oh, there's always more money. I'll just work and just work and get another job and just make more money." Instead of realizing that maybe I could have saved a little bit of it and not had to have worked so hard. My maverick personality is very okay with risk.

                                                So feast or famine was a very natural state for me. I was used to having zero in my bank account because I was really good at just suddenly pulling everything out of my butt, and manifesting money. And it was like a magic trick. And so the idea of having no money or being in debt was not scary to me at all. In fact, I was almost a little bit addicted to that feeling of feast or famine. So maybe that is you. And I can talk about that a little bit in a second. And then my third money archetype is I'm a romantic. And so romantics don't like thinking about money very much. And we like instant gratification and it's just like, "Well, if I want it, I'll buy it." Instead of saving up for something. All right. So that's kind of the first clue about saving money is just to be really honest and open your money personality.

                                                And so I am certified in the money archetype system, which is the beautiful program by Kendall Summerhawk. And so you can take a quiz on my website and find out your money personality, if you like. It's at Denisedt.com/quiz, because it will give you some insights a little bit. And as I said, the accumulators are great at saving money. But there's a little bit more nuance to that. So I want you to think about your parents for a moment because they can really impact your ability or not to save money. If you had parents who were feast or famine a little bit, then you can kind of be used to that as well. So having no money could be a very comfortable thing for you. It could be kind of normal for you to have those times where you have lots of it and then you have nothing.

                                                And in my family, because my mom is pretty similar to me in that way, she would work really hard, do some extra shifts and she always worked on public holidays and at Christmas and things like that. So she'd get double, triple time. And then it would be like, "Oh my God, we've got the nice yogurts. Oh my God, we've got space food sticks. Oh my God, look at all these fancy food. We've got Fruit Loops and Cocoa Pops." And we would kind of gobble all it all up and then it would be back to just kind of normal food. And we kind of learned in the good times, consume all you can because it's not going to last. And if you don't eat it, then your brother will eat it. And so I never really knew what it would be like to have kind of nice stuff all the time.

                                                It was it's there or it's not. And so when I was an adult, I kind of lived the same way. And I remember almost repelling money at the end of the month. So I remember very clearly I'd get paid on a Friday and Thursday night, I was like, "Well, I've got $5 in my bank account. What can I spend it on?" And I went and bought a smoothie for $5 because I was just so used to just emptying it out at the end of the day. It felt like if I didn't then something bad would happen. And so I just want you to reflect a little bit on that of if you had extra money, what bad thing would happen? Maybe you feel like the ideas only come when you're right at the wire. And by the way, time and money, you might spend them in very similar ways.

                                                So you might procrastinate and just cram it all in at the end. But you might be that way with money that feel like it has to go to zero for you to actually have more. You might have a story about your creativity. If you've got an underlying story about being a starving artist, for example. Oh my God. I've got such an Australian accent on starving artists. It's like I'm from Boston or something. Starving artist. But if you have this underlying story that you are not allowed to be comfortable because the muse won't come. Your creativity won't come if you're too comfortable. Or that you just won't be able to create, or you will lose your resilience somehow, then you won't allow yourself to have more than you need. You will think it's bad somehow. More on that in a second.

                                                But I just want to talk about one other bad thing that you might think might happen. So if you were good at saving as a kid and maybe you had a piggy bank and you'd save your pennies. If something bad did happen, maybe you had a family member that took your money or borrowed your money and never gave it back, then you might be unconsciously pushing money away at the moment because you feel like something bad will happen. If I have extra money, I'll have to give it away. I'll have to lend it to that person. Someone steal it from me. Something bad will happen. So I want you just to ponder on that a little bit and see where it's not safe for you to make more money. Where it's not safe for you to have more than you need.

                                                It might feel greedy to you. It might feel like, "Well, who am I to have a buffer when they're starving people in the world?" So it actually might feel like guilt for you. It might feel like shame. Or it might feel like it's just sitting around doing nothing. And you feel compelled to spend it. And there's a lot of parallels around food around this too. If you are always told you've got to finish everything on your plate before you're allowed to have dessert, you might feel like you have to finish everything up in your bank account before you're allowed to have more. You might feel guilty because you were told like, "Well you have to eat everything on your plate because there's starving children in the world." And so you're like, "Oh God, I really have to consume this because there are starving people in the world."

                                                There's absolutely a parallel to how this might be showing up for you at about having savings, having money in the bank. You might have a distrust of the government that came from your family members. You might have grown up in a country where the government did take your money, and did steal your money. Or banks failed. So there's a lot. Oh my gosh. There's so much. So we could be really opening a can of worms here that you think, "Oh my God, how am I supposed to save money here?" And by the way, if you're in money bootcamp, I want you to go to the new zero assignment and go do that assignment because that will give you some illumination too. All righty. Well, we are going to talk about, after the break, about how you overcome this money mindset issue and how you give yourself permission to save more money. Because it's absolutely possible no matter where you're starting from. I promise you, you can absolutely save money. All right, I'll see you in just a sec.

Charlotte Wise:                 Hi, my name is Charlotte Wise and I'm from CharlottePink.UK, which is a digital marketing consultancy. I help businesses with all of their digital marketing needs. During the start of the pandemic, when everything went digital, my work went through the roof. I found it very, very difficult to juggle work life with also been a mom of two and having to homeschool as well. I started reading Get Rich Lucky Bitch at around about December time, 2020, when here in the UK, our Christmas was canceled due to COVID. So we weren't able to see family or friends. So things were quite tough, not just business wise with the juggle of everything, but also personally as well. After I read the book, Get Rich Lucky Bitch, it completely transformed my way of thinking. And I now completely believe in the power of manifesting.

                                                Being able to manifest your goals through clearing money blocks, through forgiving. It's completely transformed the way that I work too. I now have an office, which I've built at the end of my garden. Which allows me to have work life and home life completely separately. I'm able to juggle and balance being a mom as well as an entrepreneur. I now have someone who helps me at work as well. Life is really great now, and I'm now reading Chillpreneur and I can't wait to finish it. But I just wanted to say Denise, thank you so much for the work that you do. You are fantastic. And please continue to do it. Thank you.

Denise Duffield...:            Okay. Welcome back. Welcome back. Okay. So we are talking about saving money and why it feels unsafe to save money. So hopefully you've got some ahas there. Also, what I find is after you've listened to of this episode, think about it in the shower. Think about it as you're driving around. And just see what little memories or ahas might pop up for you. And as always, please share them with me and tag me in that. Cause I love to hear it. And of course, if you're in money boot camp, as I said, go do that new zero assignment and share your ahas in the group. Because when we heal something for one person, we heal it for all of us. And that's why that community is so important. And of course, if you're not in money boot camp, just go to Denisedt.com/bootcamp and you can come and join us.

                                                All right. So savings. Now I said something about if you have a buffer, what would that mean for you? And I just want to share how that came up for me and it still continues to come up for me over the last couple of years, is realizing how much of a story I have around my capacity for hard work. Still, even after all these years, I still have this story that I'm a hard worker. And I realized that I wasn't using things in my house. I wasn't using these convenience things I'd created my house, like my under floor heating, just air conditioning in general. Because I wasn't allowed to do that as a kid. Cause it was very expensive. Not allowing myself to be comfortable. I had such a story about resilience that I was like, "I never get sick." It's because I wasn't allowed to get sick.

                                                We didn't have money to go to the doctor. So of course I didn't. And now realizing how much care and attention my body needs. I need massages. I get vitamin infusions. My body's actually quite delicate. Realizing that I have allergies that I never got to acknowledge as a kid. Just that care and attention. But I was like, "But if I acknowledge that, then I'll lose my resilience and I'll be too soft and I won't be hard working enough." And I kept on thinking, "I'll be useless if I lose all my money. I'll be soft, like a little crab without a shell." And so I think it comes down to the savings of are you allowed to have a buffer? Are you allowed to have a backup plan? Are you allowed to have softness?

                                                Are you allowed to have a foundation? Because if you are not, that's when you're going to keep on continuing that feast or famine. Perpetuate that story that you need. That you need to be hardworking and tough to do it. Okay. So ponder on that, that it's safe for you to have more than you need. It's safe for you to have a buffer. It's safe for you to be creative and have money in the bank. It's safe for you to set boundaries with people who might ask for money. It's safe for you to have more than you need. So that could be really tricky for you. All right. So let's talk about logistics around setting up savings. Okay. So you might have failed at this a million times and that's okay. We can get back on the savings bandwagon. So when I got really serious about this and I had all my ahas about, "Oh my God, I'm not allowed to have more than I need." All the things.

                                                I set up a direct deposit into a savings account. And I did it. I set up an online account, like ING. That's not an endorsement necessarily, but that's what I did because I could set it up online. But also it was separate from my normal banking. So I couldn't just transfer money very easily. It would take two days. And I had to remember my login details and all the things. And I set up a direct debit of $5 a week. Now this doesn't sound like very much, but I had to acclimatize to having even $5. Remember I said in the first half that once I had $5 in my bank account and I spent it because I was getting paid the next day. Because my comfort level was zero. That's all I felt comfortable about having. So I set up that $5 a week and it would go out. And I'll admit for the first couple of months I raided that every couple of weeks. I'd go, "Oh my God, I've got no money. Oh that's right. I've got $35 in that savings account."

                                                And I would raid it because I needed it because I was so used to spending everything. But then I got used to that $5. I acclimatized to having just a little bit more than I needed. Just like maybe if you're acclimatizing to not having to eat everything on your plate. It's like, "I'll leave just one little bite. I don't have to finish that one. And I know when I'm full." There's so many parallels to money around this. It's like, "Oh it's okay. I don't have to spend everything. It's safe for me to have that buffer. How does that feel?" And then I upped it just to $7 until I acclimatized to that. And I raided it a couple times. That's fine. And then I made it 11 and then 22 and then, I can't remember, 77 or something like that until I was saving a little bit more. And you know what it does too?

                                                I think there's something that it creates just an abundance. You start to realize, "Oh there's more than enough. Wow." And that kind of trickles over into other areas. Oh, there is more than enough clients. Oh, there's an abundance. Oh, I don't have to take on that client who's a pain in ass because there's more, there's more. And so this is all very symbolic to, it's safe for you to have more than you need. It's safe for you to not have to take on everything that comes your way. It's safe for you to not have to consume everything because there's always more. And so if you have been good at saving, why don't you up it a little bit? And then I started to look at other areas in my life that I could have a buffer. I started to increase my contributions to my retirement account.

                                                And now I'm at the max. But it had to start with those little amounts and then realizing, "Oh, I didn't even miss that." Because there's more coming in. Oh, I didn't even miss that savings. Oh wow, I've got some there. And then you could take that next step and go, "Oh well maybe I can invest some of that money. Or maybe I can put it into a term deposit and get a really great interest rate. Maybe I can put it off my mortgage." Or something like that. But it's okay if you sabotage it a few times and it's okay if you screw it up a few times. You just start again. But I think the key is, you don't go, "Oh, I'll do it at the end of the month." Because there might not be there at the end of the month.

                                                You've got to do it at the start and you've got to give yourself permission and the faith that there'll always be more. Okay. So maybe you do it at the start of the month. And by the way, if you struggle to pay yourself, it's a very similar energy. Pay yourself first because there's always going to be enough. And you'll make it happen and you'll make more. Cause if you are someone who's always used to just making more, you will, but not if you feel like you can only do it from a place of zero. Ah, so interesting. All right. So your homework is to either set up that savings account. Set up that automatic payment so you don't have to think about it. Set it up for an amount that feels okay for you. And if you've already got those things in place, set it up for the next level.

                                                Okay. And here's your affirmation. It's safe for me to have excess. It's safe for me to have more than I need. It's safe me to have a buffer. It's safe for me to have a backup plan. It's safe for me to have savings. It could be that. And I would love to hear what this is bringing up for you, by the way. It's not so simple as that just hmm, set up a savings account, have some savings.

                                                It is going to absolutely bring up money mindset stuff for you. So please let me know what that is. And of course, if you ever want to explore this, I would say, go and read my book, Get Rich Lucky Bitch about just uncovering what your money blocks are. But if you've been waiting to join my course, for example for a long time, money bootcamp, come over and join us. You can just go to Denisedt.com/bootcamp, or send me a DM on Instagram or a Facebook. And we'll see if it's right for you right now. Okay. But otherwise it's totally safe for you to have more than you need. And it's safe for you to start again, even if you've screwed this up a million times. All right, gorgeous. I have some final thoughts for you right after this break.

Jane Leech:                         Hi, I'm Jane Leech. I help eco conscious homeowners to create homes that make their heart sing. I'm an eco home architect based in Manchester, UK. I've read Get Rich Lucky Bitch and Chillpreneur. And I'm a member of the money bootcamp. And I love the combination of reading the books along with doing the money bootcamp, because it adds that extra stories in Denise shares in the books.

                                                The biggest aha for me has been that I can have more money than just what covers the basics. Growing up, I learned that frivolous things that are purely for fun and pleasure where for people with more money than sense. Those bad people. But I aim to create more ease and pleasure for my clients. And I think that having ease and pleasure in your life is important. So those frivolous things are now part of what I allow myself money for. And so I'm less limited financially as a results and I enjoy life more. What I've loved is the gradual uncovering of my own beliefs and understanding around money and knowing myself better, which has empowered me to improve my life. I would recommend reading all of Denise's books and joining money bootcamp to anyone who's like I was and struggling with a scarcity mindset and feeling panicky and desperate around money.

Denise Duffield...:            So my final thought today is about this idea of being responsible. And I felt really responsible for a long time in my life. I had a very young mother and I felt really old for my age for such a long time. And then I think the pendulum swung a little bit and I was like, "I don't want to do all these grown up things." And so responsible might be a little bit of a trigger word for you where you feel some stuff around it. So maybe the idea of managing your money feels too responsible. Looking at your bills feels too responsible. Maybe you want to buy a dream house, but the idea of it just feels so complicated. Maybe you want to make more money in your business, but it feels too complicated. You don't want to be responsible for bigger sums, taxes, whatever.

                                                Maybe you are holding your yourself back from hiring people at the moment because you don't want to feel responsible for other people. And so an affirmation to send you off with could be, it's safe for me to be more responsible with money. It's safe for me to handle bigger sums. It's safe for me to have more complexity in my business. It's safe for me to register for GST, VAT, taxes, and just let yourself know that you can handle it and it's safe. You can handle more money responsibility. And sometimes that really unlocks some stuff where you might be holding yourself back from more success, more clients, more team, more money. It's safe for you to be more responsible with money. It's safe for you to handle money. It really is. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode. Please let me know what your ahas were about it. You can tweet me message me on @DeniseDT everywhere around the web and have an amazing week. I will see you next week for more Chill and Prosper.

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About the Show

Chill & Prosper is your weekly dose of money mindset, marketing and humour from best-selling author and entrepreneur Denise Duffield-Thomas.

Denise's philosophy is that there is ALWAYS an easier way to make money and that's what she's here to help you do. Each week, you'll get actionable advice to help you make more money, with less work. There's no need to hustle - let Denise show you how to embrace the Chillpreneur way.

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