In this week's episode of Chill & Prosper, we’re talking about screw-ups and how to get your business mojo back.
Trust me when I say I have made so many mistakes in business.
I've made mistakes around boundaries.
I've made mistakes around hiring.
I've made mistakes in my marketing.
I’ve made tons of mistakes around my pricing.
But - I almost instantly forget about them.
Because I see all of those mistakes as stepping stones and rites of passage along the way.
Let’s talk screw-ups!
Hey, gorgeous. Today we are talking about business screw ups and those times where things don't go quite so well and how you can get your mojo back get your business mojo back. Now, one thing I will say is that people ask me this all the time about what my business failures are and things that I've screwed up. Trust me when I say I have made so many mistakes in business. I've made mistakes around boundaries. I've made mistakes around hiring. I've made mistakes in my marketing and tons of mistakes around my pricing. But, one thing that I think has been really great for those things is because I have ADHD, I almost instantly forget about them. It's really hard for me sometimes to dredge up some of those business mistakes, because the other reason why I think I've been so successful is because I see all of those mistakes as stepping stones, as rites of passage, passages, I guess, rites of passage.
Also, I love to mine everything. Whenever I've heard from a friend or even one of my clients where they've made a mistake, I'm like, oh, this is going to be such a good chapter in your book. They're like, what? I haven't even written a book yet. And, I was like, yes, but it will be wonderful in your book one day or I'll be like, oh, this is a great story to tell on stage. And they go, but I don't even do public speaking. I'm like, it doesn't matter. You can mine this for ever. You can dine out on this forever. You think of some of the speakers and authors who are known for like one famous book. Sometimes people mine things forever. They really do. I believe you can turn any lemon into lemonade. Like honestly, if anything would, no, I'm not even going to go there, but I was going to say any mistake I make, I'll be like, oh, I'm going to write a book about that.
You are going to make a ton of mistakes. It is just a fact of life, it's a fact of business. If you really wanted to get to a place where you're always in your comfort zone, then go get a job where you have no demands on you and you can just finish at five o'clock and you can go home and never think about it again. But, if you're one of those crazy people who love entrepreneurship, you want to work for yourself, you want to earn your own money. Then, it is just inevitable that you're going to screw up all the time.
Here's what I see. I see some people who make one mistake, like they get one refund request, they get one copycat, they have one broken link or they have one failed launch and they quit their business. I see these each and every year and occasionally I'll think, oh God, I wonder what happened to that person. And, it turns out that they had a bad launch or they had a hater. They had a troll and they just went, I can't do this, I'm not cut out for it, and they just left. I do not want that to be you. I want you to dust yourself off and start again or get back on the horse. But, you need support around you to be able to do that. You can always reach out to me. I'm @Denisedt all around the interwebs. You can always reach out to me. Tell me your business failures and I will tell you to dust yourself off and start again.
I've been in business for quite a while now, I see that most of the mistakes or most of the screw ups, happen in a few common areas. One in particular is around boundaries. Another area is around discernment. I also want to talk about pricing as well because I see a ton of mistakes that happen in there. You will make so many mistakes in each of these areas at some points. It's almost really fun sometimes to say, what mistakes might be coming down the road track. Because, you go, oh, I haven't experienced that yet, but it will happen. Denise said it will. When it happens, I will raise a glass of champagne to you and toast you and tell you congratulations for hitting that rite of passage. Because, if it hasn't happened yet, it totally will happen in the future. I don't want you to feel like you're alone. I don't want you to internalize any of these things. I want you just to go, ah, yes, now it's happened, that's great.
The other part of it is, some of the things I'm going to talk about today, I don't want you to pre worry about them too much. Don't pre worry and don't rehearse these too much. Just know that they could be coming and you don't need to worry about it. Which actually brings me to my first point is that I used to lie awake, worrying about things. This is my classic one. In my first year business, I'd be like, what if Oprah wants me on her show? It starts really early and I'd have to get up at 3:30 in the morning. I've just been watching the Morning Wars. It's called the Morning Show in Australia with Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston. They have to get up at 3:30 in the morning. And, one of my fears was, I'm going to be so popular and famous that everyone's going to want me on their show. I'm going to have to get up at 3:30 and I'm too lazy. And, then they will never have me back again. I would just go into this tizzy.
I also used to worry about paying lots of taxes. If you're laying awake going, oh my God, I'm going to have to pay so much tax when I've got a million dollars. I'm like, oh my God, cross that bridge when you come to it. Some of these things we talk about today, I want you to just park them for the future. I'm like, oh, I don't have to worry about that right now. It's fine.
Let's talk about boundaries. I honestly see so many people feel like quitting their business over really normal boundary stuff. I talk about my friend, Randy Buckley, all the time. I really highly recommend to everyone follow her on Instagram. I think she's Randy dot Buckley, Buckley with a L E Y. She's got a course on boundaries, but she puts a lot of amazing social media content about boundaries too. But, I see this and I've wanted to quit my business with setting up boundaries too, because so many of us have been conditioned to be nice girls, to be people pleasers, to not people off.
When you're in business, it's really hard to build a critic proof business, because there's always going to be someone who doesn't like you. There's always going to be someone who doesn't like what you do. And, there's always going to be people who push the boundaries, especially if you've never set any in the first place. If you have been conditioned to be a nice girl, you will bump across some boundary stuff at the start. It's likely that you will attract some people who will take advantage of you or drain you, or overstep boundaries in time, or there'll be scope creep in what you do, because you don't want to say no to people.
A lot of entrepreneurs, I see them burn out because they're available 24/7 to their clients. And then they get resentful. They burn out and they quit their business rather than even just setting a simple boundary around like, Hey, you can't text me at three o'clock in the morning. One thing that I think a lot of us can work on around our boundaries is time because this is just such a big potential screw up. That if you let your clients dominate your time, it is just such an energy suck. I did this at the start of my business as a coach. I would let people talk for three hours instead of setting a boundary and just having a one hour session. I've seen people who create websites suddenly they're making a 20 page website instead of a five page website to people.
I used to have a friend who did Facebook ads for people, and then she'd go, oh, but their sales page sucks. I'll just do their sales page. Oh, but their copy sucks. I'll just write their copy. Oh, their graphics suck. I'll just whip up some new graphics for them. It got to a point where their clients were just expecting that all the time. And, of course, it's so unsustainable to do it. People will do it and your clients will expect more. They'll add more work if you don't say no. If you're too available and you train them to rely on you, then of course, they will continue to do that.
I remember having a client who, she would text me and go, oh, hey, I've got this question. She would email me. If she didn't get a response, she'd Skype me and then she'd message me. I'd be like, I'm not just here to be your Google. I felt so mean about setting the boundary around it, but it made me just want to quit my business. It took up time and energy that I could use to market my business, or to serve other clients, or to write my book, or to create my course, or do all of those other things.
Good boundaries really are a business essential, but it can take trial and error to learn them. I want you to think about what's causing you pain at the moment in your business. What's feeling like a screw up. Everything can be renegotiated, always. Even if you've got a client who expects those three hours, you can still set a new boundary around it. Even if you've got, I see this a lot, actually, people go, oh, I've got this client and she's on the old rate. I'm like, does she even know that your rates are three times higher? No, she doesn't. I was like, well, at least tell her, at least tell us so she can be grateful for it. Or people are scared of losing clients that give them so much grief that the money is not even worth it at the moment.
I want you to think of one area in your business that feels insurmountable. It feels yucky. Think about what that boundary is that you need to set. It could be that you need to get out of your inbox because people are overstepping. It could be that you need to put in like a piece of software, like an online calendar system. Then you're not booking people on for a weekend just because you feel bad about saying no to them face to face. It's just there on your calendar.
I will always love to hear about what boundaries people are setting. So, always reach out to me if you've got a new one. I'm @Denisedt on Facebook, Instagram, all the places. As long as you don't overstep my boundary and ask me to solve every problem with your life. I always love to hear from people. I love especially to hear what boundaries, what new things you're setting. If you write a blog post about it, tag me in it for sure. I am always looking for new ways to share, but also new ways for my own life as well. Okay, boundaries are the big one. Setting a boundary might feel scary at first, but it's a really great way to buy back some energy and get your mojo back.
All right, let's take a quick break. And then when we come back, we'll talk about the power of discernment. All right. See you in a sec.
Hi, I'm Jess. I live in Northeast, Tennessee in the United States and I'm a passion project and business strategist. I help people take their creative endeavors and big dreams and bring them into reality. In early 2020, I found Denise and I devoured all three of her books in less than a month. And I recommend her to everyone and anyone I meet. I felt just so connected as a fellow Virgo, that things just need to be broken down into steps. I was deep into the spiritual world as a yoga teacher, but everything was so fluffy and I really needed practical steps to bring things that I desire, for example, money into my reality. The biggest takeaway I had, was actually taking the action and alignment with what you desire while still staying open to all the possible ways that, that could come into your reality.
Welcome back. We were just talking about boundaries and that often brings up a lot of stuff for people. I know it does for me, but every year I've grown in my business because I've just set one little boundary and it just gets better and better. When you do that, each one will just feel like your new normal. Let's talk about the second big screw up I see. It's around the power of discernment. There are so many different ways to run a business. There are so many different ways to market yourself. There's so many different ways to create a team and do everything. At the start, it's so hard to know which is the right one for you. We can be very swayed by other people. We can be swayed by charismatic coaches. We can be swayed by what everyone else is doing or what's trendy in the moment.
It's hard to sit back and really discern what is right for you and your lifestyle or your stage of life. For example, you might be going into a social media channel just because everyone else is telling you to do it. I did this when clubhouse first started. I don't really love audio stuff. It's not my favorite thing to do. I just went, you know what, I'm not going to do it. I'm going to have discernment around it. My tricky thing at the start actually was being in coaching programs and just doing everything that a popular coach was doing without even really looking at like their personality type, what worked for them, their stage of life, all those kinds of things. When I had kids, a lot of the advice that I'd gotten from coaches wasn't as relevant to me anymore. They'd be like, oh, you've got to go to all these conferences. You've got to do all this networking. I was just like, I'm so tired. I've got a baby. I need to find new ways of doing things.
I think at the start you're not quite secure enough in your own decision-making. You are susceptible to other people's influence. Also, you just don't know really what you're good at and what you like to do. Discernment is often trial and error, but even there's discernment within that of like, it's okay to tweak and shift and change and it's okay to make things really easy for yourself. You might be making decisions out of FOMO at the moment. You might be going, oh my God, everyone else is doing this thing, I have to do it.
You might be looking at a coach, who's doing something really new and cool and sexy and thinking you have to do it as well. A good example for me was my app. I've got a money tracking app and I only did it because Danielle LaPorte had one. I was like, she's got an app, maybe I should have an app. I didn't really think about where it fit within my overall business. Where it fit in my marketing. I didn't foresee some of the problems that came with it. I invested like 10 grand into creating the iPhone app, and then people were like, but what about Android? I was like, oh, I don't want to create an Android. That brings up problems almost every week for me. Someone's like, where's my Android version? I'm like, oh, I'm just not going to do it. I'm sorry I didn't have discernment around my business expenditure that many years ago. Maybe a friend of yours just created this new sexy website and you're like, oh, maybe I need to do that too.
If you're doing what everyone else is doing because of what's trendy, you're not practicing discernment. You're not looking at what's in alignment for you. Don't buy courses you don't need don't create products or services just because of that. I was really bad at hiring people at the start because I was copying someone else's business model. I thought that, oh, they have a lot of staff. I need to have a lot of staff. I just didn't know how to do that. I signed up for coaching programs, I was at a conference and they did it and I just wanted to join because everyone else was. I often did things, like just creating stuff that other people wanted from me. In the early days actually, I tried to be everything to everyone. I was like, oh, I can help you find your soulmate. I can help you with your business. I can do all that kind of stuff instead of realizing, I didn't have to be everything to everyone.
Later on in my business, where people are going, oh, I want more, Denise, I want you to create a mastermind. I was like, oh, I could. But, it didn't suit me and what I wanted to do. It's okay for you to be really choosy and even just sit back sometimes and go, what do I need this year? What courses do I need? What do I need from a coach? What do I really need to invest in? Just have that power of discernment and give yourself permission that you're allowed to choose.
Which brings me to the last one, this is actually a super important one. I've got so many solo episodes on the this. I've written about it a million times, but a massive big screw up that people make is around pricing. The biggest mistake I see is that people really undercharge. They crowdsource their pricing. They look around what everyone else is charging. And, when you under price what you do, you really risk burnout. You attract the wrong clients. You get resentful of them, especially if you're over-delivering and you're not getting paid enough for that. Sometimes then, if you're undercharging, you don't take on the best clients because you just think I have to take on everyone.
It's okay to make mistakes around pricing. But, the one thing I want to talk about, I mean, as I said, I've done so many episodes around this. The one thing I want you to realize is that you can change your pricing at any time. You can really choose, make a deliberate choice, you can pull a number out of your butt, but you can change it tomorrow, if it doesn't feel right. You can change it every second client, if it doesn't feel right. But you'll probably make a ton of mistakes around it. My first mistake, I just charged under what other people were charging. I just thought, oh, I'll compete on price and that rarely works. Then I would confuse people around pricing. I would have too many different price points. I've undercharged courses and then it confused people about the value that it could offer.
I've done so many mistakes around pricing and you're really not going to get it right the first time or the third time or the fifth time. And, that's okay. I make mistakes at my farm around pricing. We sell flowers and honey and I don't personally do it myself, I've got a team out there. We're still trying to work out the pricing there as well. So, don't feel like you're a loser if you don't get it right because it's just one of those tricky things in business.
What do you do when you screwed up stuff around any of these things? Well, one of the first things you can do is just to forgive yourself. As I mentioned right at the start, I see people who make one mistake and then that's it, they feel like they're in business. They feel like they can never come back from it and that's it, and they quit. That's really, really sad. Self-forgiveness is just such a great tool here. Give yourself a couple of days to lick your wounds but it's okay just to be like, wow, I made a mistake. As I said, you can repurpose this, which is my second tip is to look for the lesson.
How is this going to help other people? Can you share it as a cautionary tale? Can you share it as an inspiring story? Can you just share within your community so people can look out for it? Can you share it just as a way of showing your vulnerability and showing that you're not perfect? Can you write a blog post about it? How can you monetize this screw up? Everything is useful, everything. Really, what you can do is look at these screw ups and see where you can create ease around it. Sometimes you can eliminate the problem altogether. It's like, well, cool, I'm not going to offer this anymore. Sometimes it's about setting that boundary. Sometimes it's about tightening up your terms and conditions. Sometimes it's about being really clear with clients what you'll put up with going forward. For example, you under charged something and it's just horrible. You'll never do that again. That's a great lesson, isn't it? You'll never do that again. I say this to my team when they screw up too, I'm like, well, that's a good lesson. You probably never going to do that again. What a priceless lesson.
Remember, no mistakes are forever. You'll forget about it soon. Other people will forget about it soon. So you can just jump back on stuff and just continue serving people, continue making money. You'll come out of these experiences stronger and wiser. Whenever something feels bad, which it always does. I remember Oprah saying "this too will pass" and it will. Nothing in your business is irreversible, nothing in your business is forever. You don't have to lie in it. You made your bed and you lie in it. You ever hear that? You can change things at any time you can renegotiate anything. Your boundaries can shift and change over time. Even if it upsets people, you can change your pricing at any time. Always your business, your rules.
I live for hearing business mistakes. If you're in my Money Bootcamp, I'd love you to share some of your recent money mistakes. This is what the group is there for. Not just to share wins, but to share some of your challenges as well. I always love hearing them as well. If you're not in my money, bootcamp, come and join us, it's @denisedt.com/bootcamp. Otherwise, reach out to me on social media and tell me your business screw ups as well. I love hearing them. I think they're really fun. I will tell you congratulations basically. We all do it. It's time to move on, tomorrow's another day. I'll be right back with some final thoughts after this last one. Bye.
Hey, I'm Leah from destiny drive and I'm in Melbourne Australia. I joined Money Bootcamp in January this year and I'm so glad I did. I really do wish I did it earlier. I was on the fence for a really long time, but it's just really changed my perspective and the way I sort of structure my business. I run an e-commerce store and I sell physical manifestation journals. Since joining the program, I now have a digital version of the same journal that I have as a passive product. Now, I literally make money in my sleep. I wake up in the morning and I have orders that I didn't need to do anything for, and it's just blows my mind still. Leah from 12 months ago, just wouldn't have been okay with that. I wouldn't have even known that, that was a thing. I totally recommend getting in the group. The Facebook group attached to it, is just out of this world. I've never had so many amazing women in one space, that you can just learn off. Get in the group.
Hey Gorgeous. Welcome back. Thanks for being with me and here's my final thought for today. If you are someone who loves to check their horoscope or loves to look at when the full moon is or believes in divine timing. Today is my lucky day. I want you to write this down somewhere, "Today is my lucky day". I love looking at my horoscope too. Sometimes just knowing that a day is lucky can give you that extra little boost. But, quite often I see this as an excuse to avoid doing things, it's like, oh, it's mercury retrograde, I can't do that right now or the stars aren't aligned. I'm saying this just for myself as much as I am for you. Today is your lucky day. Even when it comes to timing around like, like for example, people say to me, what's the best day to send out my newsletter and I'm like, oh, the day you do it is your lucky day.
Any day can be redefined as a lucky day. Especially if you take action because that's usually a day that will pull you forward towards your dream life. So, today is your lucky day. Today is your lucky day. Write it somewhere. Maybe write it on your mirror. Get a Sharpie or one of those whiteboard markers. Write it on your mirror. If you need to hear this, today is your lucky day. Definitely Tweet it to me or Instagram it to me. I love when people make quotes by the way and please attribute it to me on the image, I would love that. If you're one of those people, tag me in I'll re-share it for sure. I'm @Denisedt all around the interwebs.
Today's your lucky day. Gorgeous. Go forth, chill and prosper, peace out for me. And I will see you next time. Bye.
Chill & Prosper is your weekly dose of money mindset, marketing and humour from best-selling author and entrepreneur Denise Duffield-Thomas.
Denise's philosophy is that there is ALWAYS an easier way to make money and that's what she's here to help you do. Each week, you'll get actionable advice to help you make more money, with less work. There's no need to hustle - let Denise show you how to embrace the Chillpreneur way.
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