SMA Review - Charlotte Pardy

sacred money archetypes


Charlotte Pardy

Psychotherapist/Mother Wound Specialist | UK
Archetype: Ruler

I'm Charlotte, and I am a psychotherapist who works with daughters of difficult mothers. So, I'm from Hertfordshire in the UK and I'm a Ruler and Nurturer, obviously, being in the counseling professions, and an Accumulator, and they definitely clash at times, and there's a lot of creative tension there.

“If you've ever been told that you're bossy, that you're too big for your boots, this is the place for you. It's a place where you can build back that confidence that's been chipped away and lean into who you are.”


Was there anything surprising when you found out about your Archetypes?

So, for me, it was a complete surprise that I was a Ruler. I thought being in such a caring profession and everything else, I would naturally come out as a nurturer. I really did think that that was the way that I was heading, but I think, obviously, nurturer's kind of mother-type figures, and what do mothers do? They rule their little empires, don't they, and I think really for me, that's what came through, this idea that as well as having that nurturing half of me, there's still the half that counts the pennies, makes sure there's food in the cupboard, keeps building on ideas, keeps helping people growing, and keeps bringing those ideas coming through. So, it was a surprise, but when I did look and read through, it did make perfect sense for that kind of matriarch figure for me.

"So, that's been something that I've connected with quite a lot, and it's been really a revelation for me, because it's allowed me to empower myself. And it also balances out a little bit of that nurturer tendency to overgive, because I think that there's a sense in all mothers at some point that you get a little frustrated with your kids and you're like, "I'm sick of tying your shoelaces for you. You need to tie them through yourself," kind of thing. So, I think that's where that balance and that tension between the two can fit quite well together."

What are some of the sabotages you experience because of your Archetypes?

So, for me, I think I've got quite a lot of tension between my Ruler and my Nurturer. My Ruler is fantastic. It gives me a lot of drive. Like Jess, I'm always learning things. I do get dragged into that I will do something myself just because it's quicker and easier than having to explain to somebody else, and I want that efficiency. I want it to have that elegant simplicity that you have in your head, that when you do it yourself, it just comes into it. I think what's difficult with the nurturing side of things, when you add that in, is that it can give you a tendency, especially when you're doing a lot anyway, to overgive, to overwork, and to not necessarily put you first, and because you know a lot, because you do all this extra learning, because you do fill in the gaps for yourself and you don't expect other people to do that for you, what can happen is that you get into that brain-picking kind of dilemma.

Denise's little handout on this has been an absolute revelation for me because it was really hard to say no. You know that it's not efficient; it's much better to do things in groups. You know that you have more impact and you have more reach, but at the same time, there's that tug on your heartstrings that says I really should be helping, and that's the part of the nurturer and the ruler that's at odds because the ruler wants to keep building, wants to keep hitting targets, and if you're constantly getting brain-picked and giving stuff away for free, it then kind of makes you feel like you're failing.

"And I've had to really put in a big boundary here around how much of my time I give for free and how I'm going to do that and how I say no."

What would you say to someone who is looking to join Sacred Money Archetypes®?

For me, if you've ever been told that you're bossy, that you're too big for your boots, this is the place for you, because it's a place where you can build back that confidence that's been chipped away, you can really lean into who you are, and the great thing is that knowing that you want to do something for yourself, knowing that you've got that big vision, that's fantastic.

"The thing that I found that was really great for me with SMA was how to put that together into a strategy, because when you've got ideas going here, there, and everywhere, you need discernment, you need to be able to get a plan behind that to make it actionable, and SMA helps you to do that step by step, and I really enjoy just sharing my money archetypes, talking about it, and just being okay with being me."

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